Good news of the day:

• My professor told me that writing my final paper on Jane Austen would be ok
• She also told me she would write me a reference letter for both Oxford and for a Scholarship
• Pastor Trout made me cry :')
• My mom (who's on vacation) informed me that she bought me a bunch of things at Last Chance Nordstrom
• I got to watch the Academy Awards live for the first time ever =)
• Inception won 4 oscars!!
• The King's Speech won 4 oscars!!!
• One of my classes was cancelled for tomorrow, so I have more time to work on homework
• Jesus told me that He loved me! =)

haha... I hope you had a good day too!

Fashion, beauty, and other thoughts

Ok... I've kind of been on a fashion binge lately. I mean, I've always loved fashion, but the Lord has been re-awakening my love beauty and dress up and being girlie! I love it. The last few days I've been looking at pictures from New York Fashion Week (which just wrapped up). It's got me really excited. I feel like a lot of designers--not all, but most--are getting back to fun, feminine things, rather than wild, risque messes. Anyway, here are few that stood out to me:

Marc Jacobs, fall line

loveee this ensemble... :)

Victoria Beckham, fall line

PS. I reeeeally like that belt!

I'm also super excited for the Oscars tomorrow. I do hope that The King's Speech and Inception win big... but I'm way more interested in seeing what people wear! After the show, I'll post some of my favorite looks, but this was by far my favorite dress from last year. Rachel McAdams was just stunning in springy floral print with an elegant up-do and tasteful earrings. I just love it.

With my little obsession over fashion right now, I asked the Lord to show me more of what He thinks is beautiful and what beauty means. I've been in this process for a while--asking Him what beauty in literature looks like, beauty in film and music and art. I don't think beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is in the eye of the King... But getting back to fashion and outward beauty, He revealed some really amazing things to me. The first verse He pointed me to was Proverbs 31, about the Virtuous Woman. This is how it reads in the Message:

"A good woman is hard to find,

and worth far more than diamonds...

She makes her own clothing,

and dresses in colorful linens and silks.

Her husband is greatly respected

when he deliberates with the city fathers.

She designs gowns and sells them,

brings sweaters she knits to the dress shops.

Her clothes are well made and elegant

and she always faces tomorrow with a smile..."

Ok... a few things about this passage really stood out to me. First of all--the verse about her husband being respected is literally bookended by two verses about his wife's clothing. There seems to be a connection between the way she presents herself and the level of honor he receives.

The other thing--which to me was a HUGE revelation!--was the last verse. This whole section is talking about her designing and making beautiful clothes. Then it ends with the coupling of (seemingly) different ideas. Yet, once again, the author makes a connection between her clothes being "elegant" and her facing the future "with a smile." In other words, the author is connecting her outer beauty (her clothes) with her inner beauty (peace about her future), and pointing out how they affect one another.

Isn't that amazing?!? I totally flipped out when He showed me this. I mean, fashion matters to Him! He created the heart of a daughter to want to be beautiful--even over the top. Why? Because He likes to be over the top. I'm convinced that's why we have so many different eye colors, why there are such breathtaking sunsets, why there are mountains and wildflowers and beaches. We don't have these things because of the laws of nature. These are the laws of nature because our God is an extravagant God who loves beauty. And so He made a little girl with the desire to dress up--not just for the purpose of dressing up--but so she could face "tomorrow with a smile."

"On Fairy-Stories" by J. R. R. Tolkien

Some of my favorite quotes so far...

"For it is man who is, in contrast to fairies, supernatural... whereas they are natural, far more natural than he."

"For the trouble with the real folk of Faerie [land] is that they do not always look like what they are; and they put on the pride and beauty that we would fain wear ourselves. At least part of the magic that they wield for the good or evil of man is power to play on the desires of his body and his heart."

"The magic of Faerie is not an end in itself, its virtue is in its operations: among these are the satisfaction of certain primordial human desires. One of these desires is to survey the depths of space and time. Another is (as will be seen) to hold communion with other living things. A story may thus deal with the satisfaction of these desires... and in proportion as it succeeds it will approach the quality and have the flavour of fairy-story."

- Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind

[favorite quote]

Guess who bought a tutu skirt today?

Valentines just got more fun :)

ps... I want to take up paddle boarding.

I really, really want to.

I don't remember if I had mentioned this, but I have been exhausted and hungry lately. Not the kind of exhausted where your eyelids are heavy because you didn't get enough sleep last night--no, the type of exhausted where you are constantly weary and can't even stay awake to do your homework. And not just hungry... I've been a vegetarian for 12 years, but the last two weeks, I've been craving red meat... But whenever I eat anything, I get more tired. Along with that, my foot has been in pain (unexplainably) for the last week.

So tomorrow its off to the dr. I can't remember ever being excited for my blood to get drawn, but if it means finding out how my iron and vitamin D levels are doing--I'm down with it.

Pray if you will. School is hard--not insane, but not a breeze. I'm a little over half way done with this quarter, but I just need more of His grace.

On a happier [?] note... I was talking with my mom today and it dawned on me that I only have 4 more quarters as an undergrad... isn't that crazy? Time flies! I register for spring quarter in a few weeks. But after that, the next time I register will be as a senior. Wow!

I should probably go do my homework now, but I will let you know how things turn out....

Bonsoir!

"Love has taken me in, lifted my load

And in this empty space a wonder grows

A dream of some kind of peace

I could hold up as true

I never knew anything about love before you..."

- Sarah McLachlan, Love Come

I've been reading blogs for the last hour or so when I meant to do my homework... so I decided to just give it up and give you all an update. It may seem random at times, but I just have a lot on my heart.

The Lord has been doing so much in me and through me. I probably had more overflow opportunities in January than I ever expected. I saw classmates and tumblr friends come to church for the first time, coworkers come to homegroup, met countless new people, and had so many breakfast/coffee/lunch dates with people. I love it!

I've definitely been busy. The second week of school I was looking at my sched and realized that I am probably busier now than I ever have been before--and that is so good! That means I'm growing. And that means that the Lord trusts me.

But I also have school which has been so intense this quarter. School has wanted to consume my attention in its entirety. The grad seminar that I'm taking is such a blessing, but it is such a challenge. I am one of 9 students and I'm the only undergrad. Everyone else is teaching and working on their master's thesis. Most of the time during class discussions, I am sitting on my computer, googling what the other people are talking about because I have no idea what they're saying. There are times when I've given up understanding and just observed--which, if you know me, is totally abnormal for me. After the first couple weeks, I told my mom, "Well I think this is the first time I've had to worry about my participation grade in a class." haha

There have been so many times that the Lord has had to remind me that I am not inferior. My identity is in Him, not in pharaoh's system, and I have grace to walk in confidence.

This morning, I had an extended Jesus time (so good!). My heart just felt so heavy from the last few weeks. It's been go-go-go, non-stop with school and homework and work and youth group and home group and meetings and power point and dates with people and errands to run and people to pick up.......

I have been so weary. Last night we had an incredible home group, but I came home with a terrible migraine and I had had no dinner. Plus, this week my foot has acted up. There is a nerve or muscle that is not happy with me. It hurts when I walk and it swells up at night :-/

So I was spending time with Jesus and I just started crying. But, because He's just so amazing, He told me to go back and rehearse His faithfulness. Specifically, He told me to reread some journals from this time last year, which was another night season requiring a lot of trust in Papa. I wanted to share a little bit with you...

"I've never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love." - Jeremiah 31:3

"Your greatest glory is my highest joy." - Katrina Hope

I had an incredible revelation about the Lord's beauty.

The Lord took me through a time of testing.

"I still believe there's nothing more beautiful than the love you have for me..." - United Pursuit

"Close your eyes this time

Trust is all we have tonight

But trust will be forever

Safe your dreams will be

Trust will be your light tonight

So close your eyes this time..."

- Future of Forestry

"Samara, there is good in every situation. God is sending good your way. You need to find the good..." - Mom

"From the first shock of cold air in the delivery room to the last gasp of air on our death beds, we crave love. We instinctively yearn for it, gravitate toward it and feel like starving people if we're deprived of it." - Alan Wright, Shame Off You

...those are just a few quotes and lyrics I ran across. They refresh me.

Well, I'm off to my sister's to hang out with her and the little man. We're going to paint our fingernails =)

Tonight is Charlli-Samara time and we're watching Pride and Prejudice... can't wait.

Love you all, have a blessed and restful weekend.