Just finished The History of Love. Another book that reminded me just how much I love literature.

I love it as a medium.

I love it as a mode.

[ha! unintended math pun!]

No, no... I just love it!

This particular book fueled my fantasy of marrying an author. I don't think I could a novel justice. But to be married to an artist? To perhaps even be a source of inspiration? To pass life "at the side" of a MacDonald or Tolkien or even a Dahl? 

Its just a dream. I don't require a fantastical author-husband... but it would be lovely =)

Just an excerpt, from the perspective of an author within the novel:

When I saw a Starbucks I went in and bought a coffee because I felt like a coffee, not because I wanted anyone to notice me. Normally I would have made a big production, Give me a Grande Vente, I mean a Tall Grande, Give me a Chai Super Vente Grande, or do I want a Short Frappe? and then, for punctuation, I would've had a small mishap at the milk station. Not this time. I poured the milk like a normal person, a citizen of the world, and sat down in an easy chair across from a man reading the newspaper. I wrapped my hands around the coffee. The warmth felt good. The next table over there was a girl with blue hair leaning over a notebook and chewing on a ballpoint pen, and at the table next to her was a little boy in a soccer uniform sitting with his mother who told him, The plural of elf is elves. A wave of happiness came over me. It felt giddy to be part of it all. To be drinking a cup of coffee like a normal person. I wanted to shout: The plural of elf is elves! What a language! What a world!

 Isn't it irresistibly happy? I really appreciate Nicole Krauss's writing style... this is only a snippet.

A girl in my honors course recently shared a quote: "A picture's worth a thousand words; and a word is worth a thousand pictures."
I want to spend my life exploring the trail of pictures the words leave behind...

"I'm saying life is a thing of beauty... A thing of beauty and a joy forever."
- Leo Gursky in _The History of Love_ by Nicole Krauss

"Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering." - Nicole Krauss, The History of Love


Krauss is an incredible writer! I'm only about 50 pages in... but this book looks very promising =)

Time to start thinking about what to write my final papers on.

They have to be interesting topics... especially in English Honors.

Think-think-think... :)

"Jane! you think me, I daresay, an irreligious dog; but my heart swells with gratitude to the beneficent God of this earth just now. He sees not as man sees, but far clearer: judges not as man judges, but far more wisely. I did wrong: I would have sullied my innocent flower--breathed guilt on its purity: the Omnipotent snatched it from me...His chastisements are mighty; and one smote me which has humbled me for ever...
"Of late, Jane--only--only of late--I began to see and acknowledge the hand of God in my doom. I began to experience remorse, repentance; the wish for reconcilement to my Maker... I thank my Maker  that in the midst of judgement He has remembered mercy, I humbly entreat my Redeemer to give me strength to lead henceforth a purer life than I have done hitherto."
- Edward Fairfax Rochester

Jane Eyre. Even better the second time through.

I do not like Glee, but this is genius!

SUCH a gorgeous day. Blue sky, crisp air, and trees ablaze with color.
Gotta <3 fall =)

Today's challenge: Freud's "Mourning and Meloncholia."

Here we go...

Tempting... very tempting.

Maybe next fall...

I took the plunge. This morning I registered and am taking 3 lit classes next quarter:

• Shakespeare After 1603,
• Rise of the English Novel, and
• English Honors

Here's the book list =)

So, we obviously won't be reading the entirety of Shakespeare... but I do get to read all of Clarissa and Tom Jones. I'm hoping to start Clarissa over Christmas break, but I have another book waiting ever so patiently for me that I just have to read first ;)

The last 6 are all for English Honors. I'm a little nervous because this will be my first real encounter with either Virginia Woolf or D. H. Lawrence =/ Pray for me. I guess I should voice my thanks that we are not reading Mrs. Dalloway. I intend to cross that bridge when I come to it... and not a minute sooner. Also, the little I've read of Katherine Mansfield hasn't exactly thrilled me... but that was a long time ago and I'm willing to re-evaluate. But Atonement--ahhh!--now there is something to excited about! The class on a whole is focused around time and memory and how fiction treats history. Specifically, we're focusing on WWI (hence Atonement, etc.). Over the last few months, I have developed such a deep respect for that time in history and for the people affected by it. Between seeing WWI memorials in England and being gripped by an English tv show set in that era, I have fallen in love with WWI--especially in England, but back at home as well. Because of that respect, I am very much looking forward to Friday and getting to celebrate Armistice (Veteran's) Day. I'm so grateful to all who lived through such trying times... and I'm so grateful I'll get to read about them in the near future =)

Anguish. That is what best sums up the last 100 pages I've (re)read of Jane Eyre. Of everything that I've read, the middle portion of Charlotte Bronte's incredible novel is the most angst-ridden. My heart literally feels like it is in a vice. ahh... enough of that for tonight.

On today's docket: reading and answering phones all day.
I'm bummed I'm missing church--the one time they're all back together =/
But... my book list is pretty consoling:
   1. Jane Eyre
   2. Fun Home (a graphic novel)
   3. Hippolytus 
Should shape up to be a good day!

Just found this. See last post =)

One day, I may accomplish incredible things. I may have influence. I may achieve lofty goals.

But I hope to never lose the part of me who is "Alice."

*   *   *   *   *

"When I used to read fairy-tales, thought Alice, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!"

"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.

"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

"The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. 'Who are you?'"

"...so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things were really impossible."

tonight...

Horsham:

I finally found a picture!

Back in August, I spent my last few days across the pond in a town in Sussex called Horsham. It was magical. One evening at sunset, we took a walk up the hill [Denne Hill] and then back down through this field. As I wrote that night, I was so bummed that I didn't bring my camera on the walk. But I finally found a picture. It doesn't do it justice--especially because when I was there everything was alive and blooming and bathed in light from the sunset. But I'm glad I found a picture.

In the distance are the North Downs. I can't point to it in the picture, but one of those is Box Hill =)

Well, all I can say is that the Lord knows best. 
And this week, He's proven that He knows when we need a break. This week, I had things scheduled every night wednesday-saturday. One by one, they have all been cancelled. Having unexpected time off is incredible! 
Last night I went to bed early.
Tonight - bigelow vanilla chai "latea" (as Jessica M. would say =), Jane Eyre, budgeting, voting! and a bit of work on other projects.
Tomorrow night - family night! First one in months! I think we might even rent a movie to watch all together. This is so rare, which is sad, because I find family time so very restorative.
All that to say, I'm so grateful. I'm literally walking in Psalms 23:1-2:


"God, my shepherd!
   I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
   You find me quiet pools to drink from
True to Your word,
   You let me catch my breath
   and send me in the right direction..."
[the Message]

I went to bed early last night (10.10 pm). When I woke up this morning I was exhausted. Something so wrong about that. Anyway, after running out the door late, today has been kind of an off day.
But--choosing joy! I got my paycheck and it was for more than I expected, which means I can start shopping for Christmas presents. And I'm still really excited about some things I learned yesterday =) So...... not such a bad day after all =)

This fall I have had so many friends get engaged or start relationships. Its so exciting.

But I can't help wishing for a chance to walk through colored leaves holding hands with my someone special. Someday.

Meet me in the fall...

Missing England... well this didn't help! haha... but seriously, I am in love with this wedding!

[What an incredible location in the English countryside =]

[love how ethereal it looks... and, of course, love the top hat]

[ <3 ]

[cuuuute!]

[fun]

[loooove this!]

[ahhhh!!!]

I'd like to promise that I will NOT have a destination wedding... but I can't really plan that far in advance right now. This summer when we visited the estate that Jane Austen's brother owned (a gorgeous country manor house complete with sheep and an enclosed garden =), they informed us they do weddings. A girl in our group grabbed the info brochure, handed it directly to me, and said, "You're going to need this." Oh my!
It does look like something out of a dream:

sigh...England, I'm trying to get back. In the meantime, I have my memories and my dreams =)

ummm... I've got a crush...

The paper turned in, it's now time for the reward: creamy chai at Trabant and Jane Eyre =)

Done with my paper--for tonight =/ it still needs a conclusion, but that's going to have to happen in the mmorning.

dreaming big tonight... honestly, right now I don't know how my sleeping dreams could top my dreams in waking hours.

ever get the feeling that your whole life course may change??