"When we feel strong and ready, rarely do those life altering changes come. The real changes always happen just past our borders, when we step from our native soil and our feet find new and unknown, potentially unsteady ground. We don’t know if we’ll sink, if we’ll fall, if we’ll ever be able to move again. But then we do, and we just pray our movements have some grace to them, because we’ve little idea where we are and little idea how to get where we’re going. Courage isn’t that remarkable sensation of feeling strong – it’s not the memorized, sure steps down streets we own and know by heart – courage is the messy movements past our native soil."

- Katrina Hope

*Just some words from Uncommon to get your day started off right.



[via]



Fireworks

There are some seasons in life where everything is steady.

It's when you're saving for something, taking in ideas & input, you're waiting and just holding steady.

But then there are times when things actually happen.

And then there are specific times when a lot of things happen all at once.

Like you were waiting for all of these changes and BAM!

Change.

And it's amazing!

It just means my emotional capacity is getting stretched. 

It means overwhelming emotions.  Sobbing on the kitchen floor.  Silent screams in the bathroom at work.  Crying laughing.  All of the above.

All these things are finally happening!

The wait is nearly over.

It's like having the ticket in hand for a long awaited journey.

It's like the fireworks show is about to go off!

Waiting



It's a theme right now.

But change is just around the corner.



"Austen renders the elective, self-esteeming powers of the comic, but she also claims for it more socially positive and responsible functions. She wanted to use comedy as a means of reconciling herself to traditional faith and conventional society by releasing doubts and resentments harmlessly. Poised between the decorous rationalization of eighteenth-century society and religion and the restless energy and ambition of nineteenth-century individualism, she was striving for a form and a creation that would preserve the best of the past, including Christian ethics, but would allow for the change and development her expanding feminine soul craved."

- Robert M. Polhemus, "Jane Austen's Comedy"

beautifully articulated!!

change is good

So, lately I have been considering some pretty big changes in my life. I have been so tired, physically, and just feeling burnt out. My mom helped me to see that I had placed so many demands on myself. Once she pointed it out I caught myself saying, "I have to do ___," several times a day. She would stop me and say, "No. You don't have to do anything. You only have to choose peace." I started asking the Lord what that looked like for me.

And he revealed the answer very quickly:

I'm not going to school next quarter.

Don't freak out. I will still graduate on time (June 2012 :) and I absolutely love school. Its just that, including summer quarter last year, I have been going to school for nearly 1 1/2 straight. I was really getting low on energy and enthusiasm. Not only that, but I was not going to have enough money for this quarter, my taxes, or a potential trip to Oxford (still waiting to hear back... should find out in mid-april).

So this spring my plan is to get a second job, save as much money as possible, read books that the Lord has been putting on my heart, be involved with church more, spend quality time with friends, welcome a beautiful niece, and visit the cherry trees for therapy!

Really, the Lord told me this is going to be a season of rest for me. Despite needing to work quite a bit, He's putting my heart at rest--and I'm so excited! I have been in a routine for so long and now He's taking me on an adventure =)

Change.

I'm told it's a good thing.
Jesus reassures me it's necessary.
My heart is having some difficulty lining up.

I don't like relationships changing.
I don't like people leaving--physically or emotionally.

I know there has to be a brighter tomorrow.
I know change has to be an opportunity.
I know He has good plans.
I know I can trust Him.

I just wonder... why must things change?