Set
     backs


Dear Spring,
For a season of new life, why so many set
backs?  Why the confusion and self-doubt? 
To be honest, why all the tears?

Mentally, I know these are not life-ending, but
they are life-altering--
so many decisions; so many do-I-dares1.
My composure is wearing thin,
my strength is waning, in their place
only well-worn seams struggling with the tension
of holding this self together.

Primavera.  "Springtime."
Prima vera.  "First real."
I think broken apart, like myself, 
those words offer a better answer
to my initial question.  
Why all the set
backs?  
Because of all the realities.
Ones I'm experiencing for the first time. 
Realities I thought would skip me.  Set
backs I had hoped to avoid. 

Yet a wise philosopher2 conjectures, "Pain is 
what you experience when you bump into reality."
For some aspects of life, this is the "first
real" of a Spring where to become whole,
one must be broken; to move forward, one must be set
back.


1 "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T. S. Eliot
2 Definitions by Dallas Willard

The peony gods had mercy. 

I called around and was able to find a place nearby that at least had peonies incorporated in their bouquets. Hopefully this will invigorate my soul for the upcoming weeks - they're big ones & I've been feeling like a lazy bum. Cheers to peonies!

I've reached the point of the year in which I need peonies.  Like, two weeks ago.

Preferably I'd be watching the shoots grow, the buds swell and burst with countless petals.  Then I could bring a few of those extravagant blooms into the house and inhale of that delicately sweet aroma.  And... oh.  I really need peonies!!

[via]

Spring has sprung!

Hello :)

I hope you had a lovely Easter weekend - I know my family did!!

My brother and I visited Bethany's Good Friday service.  I've also begun to read the Catholic daily mass readings - and they're incredible!

Saturday was just the right combination of relax / get stuff done / spontaneous have-people-over time.

And then Easter Sunday with the fam was, of course, amazing.

We celebrated as only the Surfaces do, with both tofurkey and ham (and you better believe I had slices of both) all 11 rambunctious family members.  There was an Easter egg hunt for the little people, afternoon naps (my favorite), and lots of laughter.  We even scheduled our first, full family vacation in over 5 years!  But more than anything, it was just one of those days that filled my heart to the brim.

Here are a few fun moments from the day:

[On of her favorite things is to quote Frozen: "Hhhhhhmmm... Chooocolate!"]

[Long and blonde, short & brunette... but definitely sisters!]

[We seriously did not coordinate.  We just showed up to church and laughed.]

[Giggles!  This one comes courtesy of Melissa]

[candid moments of family fun. and Uncle Jo does his velociraptor impression]

By way of comparison... here are a few of us last year. 

What a difference a year can make!

Also, I may be obsessed with coral :)

So there's a snap-shot of my Easter.  I hope you had a good one :)

Also, be sure to check back in tomorrow for a special surprise as "Wait + Hope" hits a pretty big milestone!!

 

Within the last 24 hours I have scored a great deal on tickets to:

Gungor in concert - 3/26

An Emerald City ComicCon Sunday pass [to see Karen Gillan] - 3/30

John Newman in concert - 4/16

Spring is looking fantastic!!

*** Update ***

Did I mention... my flatmate and I are going to see The Lion King on April 5th? Oh yah, and that one was a gift!!

Yay! Yay! Yay!  My heart is getting ready for Spring already :)

Spring, why must you rain on my parade?

Oh, right, I live in Seattle.

Oh well... bringing Spring inside with mint and a new cuff :)

I've been on the look out for the right cuff and finally found it.  Woot!  Loving the chevron cut-outs!

Happy Spring!

Glorious day!

 Today was so fabulous. 80º and sunny in Seattle.

Here are just some moments of the day:

[beautiful campus... only 3 weeks left here]

[Mt. Rainier in the distance =]

[Bare-feet in the quad... reminded me of Magdalen's quad]

[I Believe in Sherlock Holmes - made my day even brighter!]

[They did good =]

[a bit of folk in the city]

[Julia!!]

[happy hour at Cafe Campagne (again) - sooo good!]

[finally got to garden! My dad and I planted the flowers I bought for Mother's Day]

[peonies are coming!!!]

spring break round-up

The other day I was thinking and didn't feel like I had done a lot over spring break, but as I recounted parts of my spring break, I realized that wasn't true. Here are just a few of the fun things I've done over break:

Finished The Man Who Was Thursday [Gilbert Keith Chesterton]

Read A Severe Mercy [Sheldon Vaunaken] and The Sign of Four [Sir Arthur Conan Doyle]

I took my first solo-road trip and went to Portland for a few days, which included a fabulous visit to Powell's. I also got to catch up with my good friend Maia, whom I met studying in Oxford.

Went to the Cinema twice. Once to see The Artist on a date with Charlli:

 and The Hunger Games with Josiah

 Visited IKEA for the first time as an adult. 

Completed a project with the spoils of the IKEA visit:

Got to get all dolled up for both the CCA Auction

 and a wedding.

Plus my trip to the MAC counter with Christine.

[I still absolutely love playing dress up!]

Checked my inbox and mailbox obsessively for news from Oxford

Stayed over with my sister and her family for a night, where I enjoyed Ross's fabulous steak and re-watching the Downton Abbey Christmas special [sigh =].

Sent my good friend Lois off to England with a fabulous double-header of great period dramas.

Had a Packer-Surface girl date in the sun this Saturday. We walked all around Juanita Bay and got to see a bald eagle.

Also went on an amazing Seattle date with my aunt Kristina.

Worked more shifts to make some extra $$

Got to introduce Stephanie H. to Sherlock (BBC).

Phone chats with my friends from far-away, like Beks and Kristina D.

* * * * *

"Let me explain. No there's too much. Let me sum up."

Overall, I had a marvelous time off. I read leisurely, spent lots of time with some of my favorite people, went on a few adventures, tried new things, had my patience stretched (in regards to Oxford), shed a few beautiful tears, laughed more than I cried, wrote a surprising amount, filled my journal with tons of quotes, survived the Ides of March, missed London a lot, sent and received letters, re-focused for the near future, and learned to choose peace + trust even more.

Ahh... goodbye Spring break, hello Spring quarter.

[photo-credit: Sarah]

change is good

So, lately I have been considering some pretty big changes in my life. I have been so tired, physically, and just feeling burnt out. My mom helped me to see that I had placed so many demands on myself. Once she pointed it out I caught myself saying, "I have to do ___," several times a day. She would stop me and say, "No. You don't have to do anything. You only have to choose peace." I started asking the Lord what that looked like for me.

And he revealed the answer very quickly:

I'm not going to school next quarter.

Don't freak out. I will still graduate on time (June 2012 :) and I absolutely love school. Its just that, including summer quarter last year, I have been going to school for nearly 1 1/2 straight. I was really getting low on energy and enthusiasm. Not only that, but I was not going to have enough money for this quarter, my taxes, or a potential trip to Oxford (still waiting to hear back... should find out in mid-april).

So this spring my plan is to get a second job, save as much money as possible, read books that the Lord has been putting on my heart, be involved with church more, spend quality time with friends, welcome a beautiful niece, and visit the cherry trees for therapy!

Really, the Lord told me this is going to be a season of rest for me. Despite needing to work quite a bit, He's putting my heart at rest--and I'm so excited! I have been in a routine for so long and now He's taking me on an adventure =)

Today I...

... celebrated my first day of Spring Break!
... painted my toes pink to usher in Spring
... took a gorgeous walk in a t-shirt
... enjoyed the warm breeze playing with my hair
... wore flip-flops for the first time this year
... got a blister for the first time this year :-/
... looked at our outside thermometer and it 70!
... read a few chapters of Jane Austen <3 nbsp="" p="">... smiled multiple times today thinking about Sydney
... wished that every day could be this beautiful :)