For a season of new life, why so many set
backs? Why the confusion and self-doubt?
To be honest, why all the tears?
Mentally, I know these are not life-ending, but
they are life-altering--
so many decisions; so many do-I-dares1.
My composure is wearing thin,
my strength is waning, in their place
only well-worn seams struggling with the tension
of holding this self together.
Prima vera. "First real."
I think broken apart, like myself,
those words offer a better answer
to my initial question.
Why all the set
Because of all the realities.
Ones I'm experiencing for the first time.
Realities I thought would skip me. Set
backs I had hoped to avoid.
Yet a wise philosopher2 conjectures, "Pain is
what you experience when you bump into reality."
For some aspects of life, this is the "first
real" of a Spring where to become whole,
one must be broken; to move forward, one must be set
1 "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T. S. Eliot
2 Definitions by Dallas Willard