"Ender is making it possible for the others his age to be playing in the park." 

"And Jesus died to save all men, of course." Graff sat up and looked at Anderson almost sadly. "But we're the ones," Graff said, "we're the ones who are driving in the nails." 

I'm reading Orson Scott Card's First Meetings, a collection of short stories in the Enderverse - including the original "Ender's Game" as it appeared in 1977 as a 50 page story.  It's so fascinating having first read the 1985 novel to approach this. 
Comparatively, this feels very in media res, but with surprising depth, making it very apparent that Card had already begun his complex world-building.  This makes me wonder if this is, perhaps, the best way for an author to enter their created world in sci-fi or fantasy.  Composing a short story would force the author to establish the mythology, history, and projected future while also presenting just a fraction of that story to test the waters.  Well, that's what I'm wondering, anyway.
Being shorter, things are much more direct - such as the lines above - but they are also profound.  Not quite a re-read, I'm still moved by earlier decisions - knowing the ramifications later on.  It's funny actually - I've read abridged versions and then later full versions of novels; I've read parallel novels; but this is the first time I've read the condensed version after reading the expanded story.  I suggest trying all three if you can at some point.  It's a marvelous exercise in narrative choices.

Ok, enough rambling.  Happy Thursday.

Reading 2013

Well, if you're interested in the past, here are lists from 2011 and 2012.

The List:

1	Return of the King - JRR Tolkien*
2	The Fault in Our Stars - John Green
3	Great House - Nicole Krauss
4	Five Dysfunctions of a Team - Patrick Lencioni  (nf)
5	The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
6	Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn
7	Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald*
8	Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins*
9	Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins*
10	Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card
11	Ender's Shadow - Orson Scott Card
12	London War Notes - Mollie Panter-Downes  (nf)
13	Speaker for the Dead -Orson Scott Card
14	Shadow of the Hegemon - Orson Scott Card
15	Shadow Puppets -Orson Scott Card
16	Name of the Wind - Patrick Rothfuss
17	The Wise Man's Fear - Patrick Rothfuss
18	A body in the Library - Agatha Christie
19	Stardust - Neil Gaiman
20	Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - JK Rowling
21	Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - JK Rowling
22	Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - JK Rowling
23	Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire -JK Rowling
24	Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowling
25	Lady in Waiting - Jackie Kendall  (nf)
26	The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
27	Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince - JK Rowling
28	Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - JK Rowling

   29 The Crowd, the Critic, and the Muse - Michael Gungor  (nf)

* indicates a re-read
(nf) indicates non-fiction

General trends:


// I read longer, though fewer books.  I set a goal of 40 books in 2013.  Don't think I'd conjectured the average length of each books would be 435 pages.  You can see below for one of my spiffy graphs.  This shows trends in average number of pages per book and per month over the last 3 years:

// I loooove sci-fi and fantasy [obvi].  I started 2013 by finishing off my re-visit to Middle Earth and another quick trip to District 12, but this only set the stage for journeys into the Enderverse, the Four Corners, Gaiman's Fairyland, and the wizarding world of Harry Potter.  I fully recognize I'm a late (very late) comer to Harry Potter, so I won't even bother "recommending" it, Neil Gaiman speaks for himself, but, a few words on the other two series.

I wrote a formal review of Ender's Game as part of my 31 days project, but here and here are thoughts I shared while reading the 1st book.  I can't recommend Ender's Game highly enough, but I'd also suggest it's parallel novel Ender's Shadow and direct sequel Speaker for the Dead (an anecdote of which I shared here).  I've forayed further into Shadow series, which is a fascinating political and psychological saga.  I'm hoping to finish the Ender Quartet, which I hear is highly philosophical.  Card's fiction is a thought-provoking delight.

As for the Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss, I did my best to give it a proper review here.  Name of the Wind, Rothfuss's incredible novel debut gripped me from it's earliest pages and once he sets up the frame narrative - there's no going back.  Both it and its sequel, Wise Man's Fear, are innovative fantasy while maintaining some of the familiar qualities I love most about series like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter (though intended for a more mature audience than either of those series).  I finished these two in August and yet still find myself wondering about the characters as if they were lost friends.  I eagerly await the 3rd and final installment!

All that said, I have enjoyed indulging more in my love for sci-fi, fantasy, and the wonderful spots where they blend.  It's saddening that these are so often relegated to niche literature in academia... but that's a thought for another post.  I have loved these literary journeys and I'm looking forward to a few more in 2014.

// I only just realized looking back at this list that I didn't read a single pre-1900's book this year.  Gatsby, published in 1925, is the earliest novel on the list.

My teenage self would be appalled.  My 23 year old self is rather thrilled.

// Another theme that emerged in my reading habits was learning more about WWII.  Not facts.  Stories.  It was the focus of London War Notes and The Book Thief, but it crept up in plenty of other books too.  London War Notes (passage here) was a heart-breaking and beautiful bi-weekly column written for the New Yorker by an American living in London throughout the war.  Interestingly, The Book Thief, though fictional, was a harrowing tale of "the other side" - how many Germans experienced the war.  As a side note, I think it would be very interesting to read The Book Thief in conjunction with The History of Love.  But these contrasting perspectives make it obvious how unnecessary and tragic the war was - not for one side or the other, but for humanity. 


As for 2014, I'm excited to announce that I'll be taking part of Jon Acuff's "Empty Shelf Project."  I've already cleared the decks and have some books in the wings - so look forward to filling it up! 

I thoroughly enjoyed my literary wanderings in 2013.  More than finding new friends, I found new parts of myself.  These stories lent me courage where I was running low, joy in some dark moments, and love - so much love - for other people.  I couldn't really ask for much more.

Have you read any of these?  What were some of the trends or highlights for your reading in 2013?

Powell's Purchases

This weekend my older sister, Melissa, and I got to go on a rare and long-awaited girls' getaway to Portland.  It. was. splendid!

Of course we took a trip to Powell's, so I wanted to give you a little rundown on the winners :)

[right before succumbing to a basket]

 \\ Name of the Wind and Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss.  I read both of these this summer and blogged about them here.  I had borrowed a friend's copies, but, after reading, really wanted my own set to mark up, reference, and loan out.  Checkity-check.

\\ First Meetings by Orson Scott Card.  A set of short, origin stories in the Enderverse - including the original 1977 "Ender's Game" short story - was just too much to pass up.  

\\ Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay.  I'd been wanting to read this book since I saw the trailer for this adaptation 2 years ago.  Since then, every visit to Powell's has included me at least considering this book.  On Saturday, I finally caved.  Can't wait to read it :)

\\ [not pictured] The Everlasting Man and The Ball and the Cross by GK Chesterton.  Because Chesterton.  The first is theology; the latter, a novel.  I've heard good things of both and Chesterton is good for the mind in so many ways!

\\ a few gifts for people that may or may not have been featured here.

It was a fabulous visit to Powell's and, while searching for different GKC works (he's in fiction, mystery, theology, mysticism, and literary criticism :), I struck up a conversation with a Powell's employee about how great Chesterton was, how exciting Pope Francis is, etc. [as you do].  She wrote out all the different stacks for me to check and then, before letting me loose to hunt for Chesterton, gave me a 10% off coupon.  Score!  

Love love love Powell's :)

31 Days of Books: Ender's Game

Title:  Ender's Game

Author:  Orson Scott Card

Published:  1985

Year I read it: 2013

One sentence summary:  Aliens have twice attacked the Earth and now 6-year-old Andrew "Ender" Wiggin has been selected as humanity's greatest chance of defense and survival - the only question is: can he survive the training?

Interesting fact:  Originally published as a short story in 1977, the Ender's series now contains 12 books, several collections of short stories, and Card is still fleshing out the "Enderverse." 

Three reasons to read it:

• What I expected?  An 80's sci-fi story aimed at 14-year-old boys.  What I got?  An extremely thought provoking, gripping book that delved into philosophy, psychology, sibling rivalry, human fears, loneliness, otherness, and empathy.  The point is, you might not be into sci-fi but trust me that this book transcends sci-fi!
• Battle school is the Hogwarts of space!  The games, the maneuvers, the teams, the loyalty, the enemies, the teachers - when written well, I think stories about schools like this one can be some of the most insightful (if perhaps slightly over-simplified) to our daily lives.
• Card knows how to write!  The pacing and cadence of his writing is so good, and the character of Ender Wiggin - just wow!

[Bonus reason:  Film adaptation coming out November 1st!]

One reason you maybe shouldn't: 

• Some have complained about the ending, that it veers in a new direction or doesn't feel cohesive... I actually appreciated the ending, but some have objected.

Great quotes:

[Opening line]  “I've watched through his eyes, I've listened through his ears, and I tell you he's the one.”  

“Everything we do means something.  Them laughing.  Me not laughing. He toyed with the idea of trying to be like the other boys. But he couldn't think of any jokes, and none of theirs seemed funny. Wherever their laughter came from, Ender couldn't find such a place in himself. He was afraid and fear made him serious.”  

“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them.... I destroy them.”  

“Humanity does not ask us to be happy. It merely asks us to be brilliant on its behalf.”

“Remember, the enemy's gate is down."

costume dilemma

You guys... I'm so ready to throw myself into choosing a costume, piecing it together... but I just cannot decide!

Star Wars?  Super heroes?  Disney?  Doctor Who? They're done every year.

Sherlock?  Always an option.  A friend and I had talked about doing a Femlock cosplay (fandom translator: she and I were going as male Sherlock characters).  But I will be doing a costume for the premiere party (just waiting on a date, Moffat!) - so I'm not sure that's "it."

Alice in wonderland?  Done it.

Lord of the Rings?  Did it last year.

Grumpy Cat?  Seriously tempting

A different Lizzie Bennet Diaries character would be "totes supes adorbs" ...but I have done it twice already this year.

Perfecting my Suzie Bishop look (from Moonrise Kingdom) would be a blast for sure... but I kinda want to tackle something new.

Would it be considered cheating to dress up like Zooey Deschanel?  [I was afraid people might stop commenting both when I went red and especially after I chopped my hair off... there has been no letting up, which is fine with me]

So then I look at books I've read or re-read this year.

Half of the are from the Enderverse.  Not really any impressive or indicative costumes from the enderverse.

Gatsby?  Everyone's going to do Gatsby this year.  [I'm afraid I've turned into a hipster cosplayer... sorry]

Hazel Grace?  Augustus Waters?  I think Augustus would actually be more fun... but with TFioS film coming out next year... 

Name of the Wind character?  Could be super fun, but very few people would recognize it.

TV shows?  

One of my coworkers seriously suggested I dress up as Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad.  That would be... intriguing.

I guess there are a bunch of Once Upon a Time costumes... comme ci comme ça.

I might be perusing classic Hollywood next.  Hmmm...

Pretty much... I need a man in my life so we can go as a couple :)

Got suggestions for me?  Leave a comment ;)

Speaker for the Dead: Parables Re-told

So, I mentioned a while back how impacting Ender's Game was.  Well, I'm now on my 4th book in the Ender Saga.  Yah. 

First there was Ender's Game. Then Ender's Shadow, a parallel novel.  Then Speaker for the Dead, the first sequel to Game (and the one that gave me major book hangover today).  And I've started Shadow of the Hegemon, the 2nd of the 4 Shadow novels.  It's a bit confusing... but then I guess it's sci-fi.  

I know there's a lot of controversy surrounding Orson Scott Card.  Some of it may be just exaggeration or rumors; some is probably true.  I don't know.  But Card's writings have reached depths of empathy and sacrificial love that other writers can barely scratch.  The Hunger Games?  Yes, I loved them - but Card's first novel packed the same emotional punch as Collin's entire trilogy!  All I'm saying is I've been amazed. 

But how to share my enthusiasm without sharing too much?  Well, there's an excerpt from Speaker that I came across yesterday and wanted to share to give you a taste of Card's power as a writer.  It's a retelling of a parable, rather than a direct relation to the plot.

The only context is that, within the story, this is found in the writings of a devout Catholic:

A great rabbi stands teaching in the marketplace.  It happens that a husband finds proof that morning of his wife's adultery and a mob carries her to the marketplace to stone her to death.  (There is a familiar version of this story, but a friend of mine, a speaker for the dead, has told me of two other rabbis that faced the same situation.  Those are the ones I'm going to tell you.)

The rabbi walks forward and stands beside the woman.  Out of respect for him the mob forbears, and waits with the stones heavy in their hands.  "Is there anyone here," he says to them, "who has not desired another man's wife, another woman's husband?" 

They murmur and say, "We all know the desire.  But, Rabbi, none of us has acted on it."  The rabbi says, "Then kneel down and give thanks that God made you strong."  He takes the woman by the hand and leads her out of the market.  Just before he lets her go, he whispers to her, "Tell the lord magistrate who saved his mistress.  Then he'll know I'm his loyal servant."

So the woman lives, because the community is too corrupt to protect itself from disorder.
Another rabbi, another city.  He goes to her and stops the mob, as in the other story, and says, "Which of you is without sin?  Let him cast the first stone."

The people are abashed, and they forget their unity of purpose in the memory of their own individual sins.  Someday, they think, I may be like this woman, and I'll hope for forgiveness and another chance. I should treat her the way I wish to be treated.

As they open their hands and let the stones fall to the ground, the rabbi picks up one of the fallen stones, lifts it high over the woman's head, and throws it straight down with all his might, crushing her skull.

"Nor am I without sin," he says to the people.  "But if we only allow perfect people to enforce the law, the law will soon be dead, and our city with it."

So the woman died because her community was too rigid to endure her deviance.

The famous version of this story is noteworthy because it is so startlingly rare in our experience.  Most communities lurch between decay and rigor mortis, and when they veer too far, they die. Only one rabbi dared to expect us such a perfect balance that we could preserve the law and still forgive the deviation.  So, of course, we killed him.

Lunch date

Seriously... this book is wrecking me!

I have been afraid to share too much, but I had to share this one quote.

Background:  Ender Wiggin is one of the smartest boys on the planet.  He's also one of the most sensitive.  By age 6 he's been pegged by world leaders as their only hope of victory or survival against an impending alien attack.  Now at age 10, he's exceeded all expectations in military school. 

But he hates himself.

I've been thinking about myself... Trying to understand why I hate myself so badly... It took me a long time realize that I did, but believe me, I did.  Do.  And it came down to this: In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him.  I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.  And then in that very moment when I love them... [I] beat them... I destroy them.

The power, the clarity in that statement - all I could do was cover my face and sob silently.

I'm only getting on here to lodge my protest.

I'm going to bed - but I don't want to. I want to stay up all night and read Ender's Game. But I'm complying with grown up rules - especially the ones about not showing up to work after fiction-induced sleep-deprivation, suffering from fiction withdrawals. As Ashley Clements would say, "500 adult points!"

I will add just two things that terrify me:
1. Peter Wiggins
2. Orson Scott Card's uncanny premonition not just of the internet's existence, but of the way it would work. I mean, he's writing in 1977, but everyone has iPads and are using "net forums" to communicate. Hmmm