Do you ever get overwhelmed with the reality of existence?  The weightiness of life?  Like you can glimpse some bit of eternity or something.

I've only heard a bit about the turmoil in Egypt.  I read about accidental deaths or murders on a daily basis.  I see hatred in the world. 

I also see love.  I see people do beautiful things.  Even simple acts sometimes make me want to cry.  I see contagious vulnerability and it makes me want to live transparently, generously, humbly. 

Sometimes it seems to be too much.  There is so much of every extreme in this world.  We've found a million ways to divide humanity and only a handful to unite.  That handful of reasons are strong though.  I'm realizing more and more that God doesn't view us through our divisions.  He didn't see the woman at the well as "a Samaritan."  He doesn't see Egyptians or Americans.  He doesn't see race the way we do.  He sees His family - both those who are lost and those who have been found by Him.  We can be so harsh, so critical.  What if I was born in Syria rather than the US?  What if I was a druggie-baby in foster care?  What if I lived in poverty with little educational encouragement?  I am immensely grateful for where and when God placed me.  But how can I take pride in something I had no control over?  So who am I to judge?

The Lord has been speaking to me about seeing the sameness rather than seeing the differences.  I want to love all his people.  This leads some people to think I'm over-sensitive.  But when you truly empathize with another human being - how could I not be sensitive when people say such harsh things about them or, even worse, when they completely ignore them?   I'm not perfect at this.  More than not, I probably do incredibly insensitive things.  I know I don't empathize enough.  If I did, I'm pretty sure my priorities would look completely different.  But I am listening to Father, and I'm allowing Him to change my priorities - if ever so slowly.  But even when it's painful - I'm grateful.  Because when it comes down to it, there is not much of a difference between me and the overlooked, unloved people so far away. 

Today, this is my glimpse of life.  It is a weight on my soul.  But it is also a gift.

There is no great difference between us.  In the words of GK Chesterton:  “We are all in the same boat, in a stormy sea, and we owe each other a terrible loyalty.”

This was a prophetic word that one of the guys in my MC class gave us... it still wrecks me:
"My children, quit thinking you do not deserve my love. Truly you do not, but don't rob me of blessing you. Don't reject my kiss. I want you in my arms. Don't reject my affection all because you think you deserve it. You are my sons and daughters and my favor is on you. Why do you dwell on the past? I have already forgotten it. Now receive my kiss and my embrace. The longer you resist, the longer I wait. But I will continue to wait no matter how long it takes, because this kiss is reserved for you, and I will not spend it on anyone else..."

I want more...

Let the light of Your face shine down on me

And let me feel it!

I want to be so satisfied in the love of the Lord that I am not for sale! 

I want to be so rooted in HIS words of identity and acceptance that I am not insecure and defensive about my self image. 

I want to be so lost in my King, my Love, that my life, with all it's pettiness, falls to the wayside! 

I want more of HIM!!!!!

He's not a tame lion...

The other day I was gazing at my beautiful mountain!!! Then i thought, that mountain has claimed lives :(

People have died there!

And then Father whispered in my ear, "He's not a tame lion... but he is good!"

And i realized that, sometimes, this walk requires all... even our very lives! He's not a tame lion... but he is good!

Father Abraham...

i often wonder about Abraham... i mean, how did he do it? How could he leave EVERYTHING and go off into the unknown. The unknown makes me want to scream and hide under my covers. But he went...

What did he think when God said, "You see all those stars? Your family is going to be bigger than that!" He probably felt the same way i sometimes do about the promises of God. "God, i believe you because - you're God! But... i don't see how that could possibly happen!" To think that he walked through the rest of his life walking in that unknown - walking with a promise unfulfilled, yet intact! I don't think I could do that...

But what will happen when we get to heaven and God says, "Abraham, Abraham... come up here. I want you to see something." Abraham joins his Father, his Creator, his Delight on his throne. And Father says, "Abraham -- look at your family now." Every Jew, every Old-Testament believer, every Christian all gathered in heaven - all the descendants of the one who had a glimpse of the Father-heart of God. A dream fulfilled!

"Not one of these people, even though their lives were exemplary, got their hands on what ws promised. God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours."