Lately...

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Adaptation Week got delayed.  It will still be happening! I have (at least) 3 more installments for you.  But I've been busy living - which is wonderful, but not so conducive to consistent blogging.

A few random updates:

//  Life has been "everything, all at once" lately.  While it can be emotionally taxing, it simultaneously makes me feel more alive.  It's like a peony blooming.

//  In other news, I turned 24!  24 is one of those ages where you imagine "life" happening.  And, the funny thing is, life is happening.  It's a constant adventure - never certain, never satiating.

//  Last month I wrapped my first-ever Lent.  I thought I would mention it before now, but didn't know how to casually bring it up.  Like, "hey, I'm not doing [this] right now, but it's all good."  Now that it's concluded, it's easier to talk about.  I went to my first Ash Wednesday service and received the imposition of ashes.  I started a list on the first day, a list of specific things I was praying for in my life or the lives of people I love.  And it was incredible to watch things actually change or move while I was praying for them.  It was, not coincidentally, one of the most potent seasons I've had in long while.  I will certainly be participating in Lent in the future.

//  My younger sister posted a bunch of great pictures of our niece and nephews, including this one:

//  Speaking of my younger sister, we've decided sunny days are for picnics and silliness

//  I have been doing a lot of research and re-evaluation lately.  They've led me to some incredible authors and bloggers.  One of them, Sarah Bessey, did somewhat of a series of open letters to those leaving evangelicalism, to those who stay, and to pastors. I find peace and a piece of myself in each of these.

//  This is the most Seattle-esque proposal, and I can't stop watching it...

Zac & Kiri - The Proposal from Zac Schwiet on Vimeo.

It's been almost two weeks since my last post.  That's unusual.

I wasn't sure how to begin.  January was one of the most grueling months of my life.  When I woke up on February 1st, my first thought was, "I survived!"  But how to begin the next phase?  And how to write about it?

Well I have been writing, but those thoughts are either incomplete or for another project that I hope I can tell you about soon.  The best I can say of such hard weeks and months is that I am still learning, and for that I can be grateful.


Alright, but now for a random selection of life lately:

\\ The Seahawks won the Superbowl and last Wednesday I was one of 700,000 crazies who went to their victory parade.  Despite the 3-hours it took to trek 11 miles and the sub-freezing temps, it really was such a phenomenal experience.

[From Top left: Russell Wilson, Richard Sherman, me flashing a 12, and Pete Carroll]

\\ My flatmate & I went away this weekend to an island cabin for a "Silence Retreat."  It was rather wonderful. We alternately journaled, read, and rested - all bundled up next to the fire.  I think I need the equivalent of this at least twice a year.

\\ But we got a little white surprise during our getaway.  Not 20 feet from the ocean, we had 4 inches of snow!  Made things a bit dicey on Saturday and Sunday, but it was absolutely gorgeous! 

[my feet got lost in the snow]

\\ A song* for you:

*This gives me all sorts of The Fault in our Stars feels :-|

\\ Amazon Smile - seriously, anyone who has an account with Amazon should sign up for this!

Thoughts for Thursday

So many random thoughts today:

\\  Last night in my dream, I relived my very first bee-sting experience (from age 4), but as the age I am now.  It was really weird.  It happened at a friends house 2-doors down from us.  In the dream I was over there but now they had a bee-infestation.  Anyway, I'm pretty sure my subconscious had been storing up some childhood video footage just for that little nightmare.  Been kinda weirded out by that all day.

\\  Recently came across this post and giggled to myself all over again.

\\  I'm preparing a "Books of 2013" post of epic proportions!  Ok, not quite, but I'm excited about it.  So excited that I created an excel spreadsheet tracking the last 3 years of books, and their length by page number.  I also included the results for average number of pages per book, pages per month, and books per month.  I might even whip up a graph!  (Ok, nerd-moment.  I just might be my father's daughter when it comes to excel...).  I will just say, though I fall short of my original goal for the year, I was encouraged by these stats.  See here for a recap of 2012 and my thoughts on reading at the beginning of 2013. 

\\  While reviewing my reading experiences of 2012, I realized that within a 2 week period that January: I finished Macbeth, Clarissa, King Lear, To the Lighthouse, and Sherlock died.  I'm really surprised I survived that.

\\ Also while sorting the book-list (and because of what I'm currently reading), I just have to say stage-whisper, "I flipping love fantasy."

\\  Final thought on books: this Buzzfeed list of how you can tell you're in a relationship with your books. [The answer is D. All of the Above.]  It's funny, I passed a guy on the bus the other day reading a book in the same series as the one I'm in and couldn't repress a quick smile.  I sat down a few seats away and pulled out my book.  He glanced over and smiled.  We both returned to our books. :)

\\  If you haven't already seen them, Buzzfeed has 30 new Sherlock S3 stills.  I have thoughts... but I'll save them for now. :)

\\  This review makes me even more excited to see Inside Llewyn Davis!  "...if only the universe could stop oppressing Llewyn and listen to him then it would hear how beautiful it’s oppression is making him."

\\  I'm packing tonight - which always makes me nervous.  But I'm extra nervous because I'm supposed to pack fancy-shmancy clothes......but we're heading somewhere with a weekend high of 18* and a low around 0*.  Yikes! Pray I don't die!

\\  Annnd, here is my current favorite Christmas song:

Have a great Friday and a happy weekend :)

Thoughts for Thursday

Hello, thought I would do another one of these... too many random thoughts for a proper blog-post!


* This.  My sister wrote this beautiful piece on how we use our talents.

I hope that my life will inspire others, not to be like me, but to be like Jesus by fully becoming who God made them to be. We can't hide our talent. We have to get out into the world and use it!

This really challenges my fears.  The other day I was thinking of Sherlock (go figure) and his line, "I'm a consulting detective - only one in the world.  I invented the job."  And then I thought, oh if only we could all invent out our own jobs.  Easier said than done.  I'm still trying to come up with a job description that could possibly encompass everything I'm passionate about.

* Before this year, I didn't know much about personality types or different tests.  I had never taken one that seemed to fit me.  Plus, I know far too many people who live with restrictions based on personality type or birth order - and that bugs me.  Honestly I often want to be like, "So you're saying because ____ is natural for you, that makes it ok.  Quick question - what does your hair look like when you get out of bed in the morning?"  Guess what people, you can choose and you can change!  It's not like you are a victim of being a jerk to everyone.  Ugh... [step of the soap box].  All that to say, I had been kind of wary of personality profiling.  But recently, I've been exposed to a handful of different methods and descriptions and, I have to admit, they've been extremely helpful.  I've found they're best when viewed as an explanation of certain tendencies.  It's helped me realize what my natural disposition is so that I can either 1) act with confidence in certain areas or 2) watch myself for weaknesses.  But I don't want to get into specific tests here or talk about my results.  I've actually been mulling it over because of the recent pair of buzzfeed articles on the woes of being an extrovert and the misunderstandings of the introvert.  I just want to say, no matter what side you land on - you are neither superior or inferior.  Both have such gifts to offer.  I have days where I could identify with either side... but I also have days when I wish I was more or less than what I am and, what I'm trying to say is, you are what you need to be.  So be brilliant at it!

* Doctor Who - I love it.  It's an amazing journey and it's worth all the strange bits.  I'm currently on Season 4 and it keeps blowing my mind!  People ask me to summarize... and I can't really explain it.  I saw this on pinterest, and they did a pretty decent job of it:

Well, this weekend we found out who 12 is going to be.  It's crazy and kind of fun time for Whovians.  A lot of questions a lot of excitement over the 50th anniversary special.  And at Christmas we'll say goodbye to Matt Smith.  [I haven't technically gotten to his seasons yet - though I've seen plenty of him - so I'll save a sappy goodbye post for him till later ;]   But it's a wonderful time to ponder what Doctor Who means and why it's so moving.  I, personally, am really excited to see what Peter Capaldi is going to bring to the role.  I'm sure he will win our hearts handily.

And I must add, that while I think Matt Smith is marevlous... I like the Doctor to have a few wrinkles.  He's earned them with the burden he's carried.

* NT Live - The National Theatre of Great Brittain (which I've blogged about plenty, before) is celebrating 50 years and is presenting special and encore screenings of some fabulous performances in October / November.  Locally, SIFF is providing showings for most of them.  A few highlights:

   - Othello starring Adrian Lester and Rory Kinnear

   - Macbeth Kenneth Branaugh's long awaited return to Shakespeare!  Joining him is Alex Kingston (River Song, Doctor Who) as Lady Macbeth

   - Hamlet also starring Rory Kinnear

   - Annnd... encore screenings of Frankenstein with Jonny Lee Miller and Benedict Cumberbatch.

I might (quite seriously) go broke.  Ok, not broke.  Just voluntarily poor.  But it will be totally worth it!

* Mercury Coffee - I've fallen in love.

Now see, I have a bunch of coffee snobs for friends (I still love you!  And don't take it too personally, you are from Seattle).  Anyway, they are always like "Let's meet at this place or that place for cofee, they have great coffee."  But you see, it's often a disappointment because I've found this thing about most hipster, authentic coffee places - I don't like their chais.  I'ts not that there chais are bad, they are just usually spiced and, well... if I was a chai connoseur, I would like spiced chai.  But I'm not and I don't.  I want to taste vanilla and I want it to be sweet - not crazy syrup sweet... but on the sweet side.  Anyway...... Mercury Coffee has now got me covered.  I've found a few coffee houses in my time that serve the best chai in the world: Mocafe Chai.  And as soon as I tasted Mercury's (thank you Cami), I had a hunch that was their secret.  Sure enough, it's true.  I looove it.  And thanks to an amazon gift card,  I'm going to be investing in Mocafe Chai at home - yum!  So if you haven't tried Mercury - do it.  I've heard great things about their coffee, and I can personally vouch for their chai.

Alright....... well, I should wrap this up and get back to things.  Have a fantastic day!

Thoughts for Thursday

Today you get a random post from Samara :)

I've tried to join the awesome "Friday Haps" gig that my friend Ashley started... But am I a disciplined writer? Ha! Nope.

So anyway..... you get some fun finds and random thoughts today.

* Yesterday, twitter brought me great joy when I came across the trend #BooksWithOneLetterMissing. Basically, you take a title remove 1 letter and explain the changed meaning of the work.  Examples:

“@Daladoir: Word War Z: Post apocalyptic world where the letter "Z" is the main nemesis. #bookswithonelettermissing” I would read that :)
— Samara Surface (@iwaitandhope) July 24, 2013

50 Shades of Gre: an irresistible guide about the nastiest secrets of the graduate exam #bookswithonelettermissing
— Santiago Quintero (@UnCocodette) July 24, 2013

The Audacity of Hop : the exploits of the Easter bunny #bookswithonelettermissing
— King Erroneous (@King_Erroneous) July 24, 2013

Things All Apart - a comedy about a man trying to assemble IKEA cabinets. #bookswithonelettermissing
— Samara Surface (@iwaitandhope) July 24, 2013

I could go on and on... nerdvana :)


* Ok... This couple did the most darling Moonrise Kingdom engagement shoot EVER!! And they actually look like grown up versions of Sam + Suzy!

Aren't they just perfect!! Nailed it with the costumes, suitcase, old books, and that meadow looks like it's straight from the film!

* If you haven't read it yet... This is a fascinating post on how and, perhaps, why the Pixar films are more interrelated than we ever dreamed.  "The Pixar Theory" by Jon Negroni.

* Also check out his post on Inception.  Pixar and Nolan - this guy knows what's important. (At least, imporant to me :)

* I'm unbelievably excited about Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge and thrilled for his parents!  Both Will and Kate are so genuine and I'm wishing all the very best for this little guy :)

* Is it weird that I'm a strong fan of people whose work I haven't experienced yet?  Let me explain.  I love Emma Watson.  I think she's darling!  She's smart and sweet and still strong.  [Alliteration, much?]  She won me over years ago when she stepped out in that fantastic pixie cut! 

Confession:  I have yet to see a single film she's in.  Yep, you read that right.  I've never seen a HP film, I haven't even seen My Week With Marylin or Perks of being a Wallflower. [Don't worry - they're on the list!]

But seriously... whether it be Emma Watson or Neil Gaiman (haven't even seen one of his DW episodes yet... but I did buy Stardust on my last Powell's trip - so there's a thing) or some other artists, I find that once I know about them I'm immediately drawn.  I guess I just admire their personality.  Following them on twitter must suffice until I actually get around to their experiencing performances or pieces of art. 

* What's keeping me from reading / watching all those wonderful things?  Well, currently, it's a ginormous, contemporary, fantasy series by Patrick Rothfuss.  I just finished the first book, Name of the Wind.  It was pretty good.  I picked up the second book yesterday and it's a whopping 1,000 pages!  I haven't read something that long in over a year - and I'm giddy with excitement.  I think it will make a wonderful travel companion this weekend as I am off to...

* Napa!  I'm flying down this Friday for a 2 night trip.  My cousin is getting married at a vineyard down there and I'm just stoked to be going.  I had to think about it and I haven't been to California in 3 years.  Haven't been on a plane in 2.  What the heck, people?  Needless to say... It'll be so good to travel further than Portland :)  Also... super excited because I bought a genuine vintage tilt-hat for the occasion.  I'll post pictures when I get back.

* I still need to blog about my Mumford Memorial Day Weekend.  It's been a crazy two months.  I apologize.  I'll try and make it fantastic.

Ok... I should get back to "productive stuff."  Let me know if you check out any of the links or if you have thoughts about the rest. 

Happy Thursday :)

Wanted to say I really like "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White Tees. 

Number one - Good songs are a blend of the specific and universal about relationships. This song accomplishes that. 

Number two - My name has the same number of syllables as Delilah. So theoretically it could be substituted. 

Number three - I hope one day hear a man say, "Samara, I can promise you that by the time that we get through the world will never ever be the same - and you're to blame."

I've been reading blogs for the last hour or so when I meant to do my homework... so I decided to just give it up and give you all an update. It may seem random at times, but I just have a lot on my heart.

The Lord has been doing so much in me and through me. I probably had more overflow opportunities in January than I ever expected. I saw classmates and tumblr friends come to church for the first time, coworkers come to homegroup, met countless new people, and had so many breakfast/coffee/lunch dates with people. I love it!

I've definitely been busy. The second week of school I was looking at my sched and realized that I am probably busier now than I ever have been before--and that is so good! That means I'm growing. And that means that the Lord trusts me.

But I also have school which has been so intense this quarter. School has wanted to consume my attention in its entirety. The grad seminar that I'm taking is such a blessing, but it is such a challenge. I am one of 9 students and I'm the only undergrad. Everyone else is teaching and working on their master's thesis. Most of the time during class discussions, I am sitting on my computer, googling what the other people are talking about because I have no idea what they're saying. There are times when I've given up understanding and just observed--which, if you know me, is totally abnormal for me. After the first couple weeks, I told my mom, "Well I think this is the first time I've had to worry about my participation grade in a class." haha

There have been so many times that the Lord has had to remind me that I am not inferior. My identity is in Him, not in pharaoh's system, and I have grace to walk in confidence.

This morning, I had an extended Jesus time (so good!). My heart just felt so heavy from the last few weeks. It's been go-go-go, non-stop with school and homework and work and youth group and home group and meetings and power point and dates with people and errands to run and people to pick up.......

I have been so weary. Last night we had an incredible home group, but I came home with a terrible migraine and I had had no dinner. Plus, this week my foot has acted up. There is a nerve or muscle that is not happy with me. It hurts when I walk and it swells up at night :-/

So I was spending time with Jesus and I just started crying. But, because He's just so amazing, He told me to go back and rehearse His faithfulness. Specifically, He told me to reread some journals from this time last year, which was another night season requiring a lot of trust in Papa. I wanted to share a little bit with you...

"I've never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love." - Jeremiah 31:3

"Your greatest glory is my highest joy." - Katrina Hope

I had an incredible revelation about the Lord's beauty.

The Lord took me through a time of testing.

"I still believe there's nothing more beautiful than the love you have for me..." - United Pursuit

"Close your eyes this time

Trust is all we have tonight

But trust will be forever

Safe your dreams will be

Trust will be your light tonight

So close your eyes this time..."

- Future of Forestry

"Samara, there is good in every situation. God is sending good your way. You need to find the good..." - Mom

"From the first shock of cold air in the delivery room to the last gasp of air on our death beds, we crave love. We instinctively yearn for it, gravitate toward it and feel like starving people if we're deprived of it." - Alan Wright, Shame Off You

...those are just a few quotes and lyrics I ran across. They refresh me.

Well, I'm off to my sister's to hang out with her and the little man. We're going to paint our fingernails =)

Tonight is Charlli-Samara time and we're watching Pride and Prejudice... can't wait.

Love you all, have a blessed and restful weekend.

I finished Pride and Prejudice for the third time today. "A minor sort of accomplishment, I suppose." I've gotten something different out of it every time I've read it--especially this time since it was for my critical theory class. I love her. I love Jane Austen. She was so ahead of her time. And what a pioneer. I mean, she wrote novels when novels where unpopular--and she was a woman! (also unpopular, haha). And yet, she was one of the first to make novels popular. wow!

Oh, and today, I happened upon where the Austen scholarship is kept in Odegaard. As I looked at all those incredible titles (e.g. Letters of Austen, Austen and the French Revolution, etc. etc.), I was like, "Wow, I can just picture myself in grad school, sitting in front of this shelf at all hours of the night researching her and loving every minute of it." Hahaha...

And, her section is on the same shelf as Keats! Parfait =)

This morning my Mom and I were talking about grad school. It's kind of daunting and yet its getting closer. Did you know that UW accepts only 20 students into the Master's program each year--out of an average of 600 applicants? Yah... that's a little daunting. I joked with my mom, "But maybe I'll get married and never go to grad school."

She just looked at me and I said, "Alright, yeah, I'll probably go to grad school no matter what. I know myself too well. But I don't know how I'll be able to afford it."

She replied swiftly: "Marry filthy rich" =) haha

I don't know what may come. I don't know what I'm doing this summer even. I'm still praying about the Oxford program. I'm also considering going as a tourist. But, I will have a 1 month old niece or nephew then--which would make it hard to leave. Well, it's in the Lord's hands. He's leading this adventure... I'm just here for the ride. What fun!

Maybe it's just me... but does anyone else tear up at baby dedications?

I mean, this little guy or gal has their whole life ahead of them. They could be anything!

And its always a reminder that names have meanings--your name has meaning.

Then I think, someday, I'll have a baby!

And that is so exciting but so heavy...

Well, maybe it is just me.

I should have forewarned you that this blog would be pretty random... sorry. Be forewarned.

Ok. I'm getting excited for fall. I'm getting really excited to be back at the U and in class. haha

Ever since I first started college, for some reason, I just wanted to be a junior. I felt like everything would be more fun when I was a junior. And I'd be so much closer to finishing (which it really isn't... I've thought about starting a groupie called: "Grad school's where it's at." haha).

Maybe my junior year won't be all that I thought it would be... but I'm here nonetheless.

And it's going to be different but so good! Just this week, it became for sure that I won't be working at the clinic once school starts. I've been there 15 months, worked with INCREDIBLE people (like it's unfair), and so grown up. But the Lord has made it clear that it's time to move on. And while I have peace about that, it doesn't mean it won't be painful to leave--especially leaving the people (Laura, Chloe, Dr. Mark, Auntie Sue, Emily, Steph, April, Tong, etc...) But I know this is the right timing.

So... instead of working as much, my focus is really school (probably another reason I'm so excited about it). This fall I'll be going to class M/W from 8:30-3:30 and Fri. from 8:30 to 11:30. Then I'll be working T/TH 7-2 and Sat. 7-4 at Honda of Kirkland. That means I'm going to have so much more time to study, be at school, hang with my family, invest in my friendships, go on walks with Charlli, take naps, journal, and just be.

It's going to be different than the last few years... but I am soooo excited!

Now, I just have to address this sadness in my heart...

In just 3 days, I'll be saying goodbye to one of my bestest friends in the whole world. She's going away to school and I won't see her again till Christmas (we already have a date to see Voyage of the Dawn Treader together :). But it's been hard lately... really hard. Yesterday, I was telling her all the things that made me sad about her going away: no dinner dates at Cafe Veloce, no spontaneous Starbuck talks, no movie nights, and no hugs :(

I hate how it's hard to describe that, it's not that my other friends aren't "friends enough," it's just that no one can fill the same spot in your heart as someone else. I'm going to miss my dear friend sorely.

Beks - I love you! And even though we're going to be thousands of miles apart and three time zones away, I love you. Thank God for texting, facebook, blogspot, and gmail chat :) Please write often. I'm definitely still going to need your love, encouragement, and the random quotes from While You Were Sleeping. :)

*Sigh... I'm not looking forward to wednesday.

Ok... one other thing (I told you this post would be random)... Lately, the Lord has been so trying to get me out of my comfort zone in some different areas. I've put that off and resisted for about 2 months. But I decided this past week that I'm jumping in. Living comfortably is no fun. And I just had to say that I am making progress and to take this moment to be excited that I am "choosing to do the hard things." Way to go, Little Spirit Woman... go go go! haha

Oh! And just had to say that I recently got Brooke Fraser's album Albertine= in LOVE!! She is amaaaaazing. My favorite song right now is "The Thief" and it is with those lyrics I will leave you. Have a blessed Sunday afternoon.

The Thief

Your eyes are full

Full of the future of us

The air changes as you look across

At me in that wondering way

It is as if

I knew you before we spoke

Do our hearts know something we don't?

Conspiring, converging without giving us any say

You, sing me to sleep

Talk down my walls

Look through my windows as I wait

You could be the thief

I give the key to

You're ruining me

With secrets and gestures and looks

With sonnets from second hand books

Playing the chords in me nobody knew how to play

You, sing me to sleep

Talk down my walls

Look through my windows as I wait

You could be the thief

I give the key to

It fits in your hand like water in rain

It unlocks our two different selves

And shows we are the same

Rather than wait 'til I put me out for the taking

You're breaking

You're breaking

You're breaking into my heart

And I'm letting you...

Your eyes are full

Full of the future of us...

Random Things...

I put my earrings on every morning as I walk to the bus.

I have the same thing for breakfast every day—toast with peanut butter and a glass of Apple Juice.

Something about children’s fantasy really draws me in—I think it’s the acceptance of wonder.

I have nearly 1800 songs in my iTunes library—nearly 400 of which are from soundtracks or musicals

I was almost born 2 months premature.

My favorite time of year is June—peonies, roses, and long, beautiful days.

If I had a car, I would take fairly frequent trips to Spokane because I find that city so relaxing.

I don’t know why, but I really have been wanting to re-watch Peter Jackson’s King Kong.

I want my long hair back.

My favorite drink at Starbucks is tall, four pump, no-water, soy chai.

I think “hopeless romantic” is a compliment.

I have 13 scarves—and I need more :)

I like cheesy, sappy movies.

My favorite place (that I’ve been to) in the whole wide world is Ponte Vecchio in Firenze.

I’ve been to over half of the United States.

I’ve shopped in a Harrot’s during my 4 hour stay at Heathrow Airport

I like conventions—I really don’t care if this plot has been made into a romantic comedy 3 times this year, I want to see this one.

My favorite flowers are coral peonies.

I am avoiding a paper :)

lalala

Secret Obsession: Spools of Thread... They make me sooo happy!

Don't you think they're cute?