grr! I'm trying to plan out my class schedule for next quarter... it's not going super well... :(

I work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoon. I have a breakfast date with Melissa every other Wednesday. I need at least one lunch date free for discipleship meetings and so forth. But the university is not being very flexible.

I need to finish my french series--and i don't mind taking french, but you have to take it at the same time every day of the week. I'll just be really happy when I don't have that class restricting my life.
I also need 10 more science credits. I do have 7 quarters to take those two classes--but i want to get them out of the way.
I'm planning on hitting my Communications classes hard starting this quarter and going in to next year.

Oh! I don't think I mentioned this earlier, but I was officially accepted into the Comm major. I'll be applying to the English major beginning of spring quarter. But I'm taking a furlough from English. I only need 5 more English classes to fulfill the requirements for that major--and some of those will be in my senior year. So I'm going to have to sit tight on that one. I'm just trusting Jesus for his timing with English.
I'm going to go look at more class combinations...


Ok... after much deliberation, I think my plan for next quarter is going to be
French 103: M-F 8:30-9:20
Comm 373 - Communications in Small Groups: M/W 9:30-11:20
Astro 150 - The Planets: T/TH 10:30-11:50 and W 11:30-12:20

We'll see... hopefully neither the Comm class nor the quiz section for Astro fills up too quickly. I'll be registering in two weeks... so, we'll see what happens then. =)

This was a prophetic word that one of the guys in my MC class gave us... it still wrecks me:
"My children, quit thinking you do not deserve my love. Truly you do not, but don't rob me of blessing you. Don't reject my kiss. I want you in my arms. Don't reject my affection all because you think you deserve it. You are my sons and daughters and my favor is on you. Why do you dwell on the past? I have already forgotten it. Now receive my kiss and my embrace. The longer you resist, the longer I wait. But I will continue to wait no matter how long it takes, because this kiss is reserved for you, and I will not spend it on anyone else..."

Random Things...

I put my earrings on every morning as I walk to the bus.

I have the same thing for breakfast every day—toast with peanut butter and a glass of Apple Juice.

Something about children’s fantasy really draws me in—I think it’s the acceptance of wonder.

I have nearly 1800 songs in my iTunes library—nearly 400 of which are from soundtracks or musicals

I was almost born 2 months premature.

My favorite time of year is June—peonies, roses, and long, beautiful days.

If I had a car, I would take fairly frequent trips to Spokane because I find that city so relaxing.

I don’t know why, but I really have been wanting to re-watch Peter Jackson’s King Kong.

I want my long hair back.

My favorite drink at Starbucks is tall, four pump, no-water, soy chai.

I think “hopeless romantic” is a compliment.

I have 13 scarves—and I need more :)

I like cheesy, sappy movies.

My favorite place (that I’ve been to) in the whole wide world is Ponte Vecchio in Firenze.

I’ve been to over half of the United States.

I’ve shopped in a Harrot’s during my 4 hour stay at Heathrow Airport

I like conventions—I really don’t care if this plot has been made into a romantic comedy 3 times this year, I want to see this one.

My favorite flowers are coral peonies.

I am avoiding a paper :)

This world is filled with beautiful people and beautiful things. It is all too easy to be overwhelmed with the sad, the tragic, and the ugly. While we give ourselves to change these things and make the world a better place, let's also take time to celebrate beauty:

...the little boy who exhausts his energy running to greet his dad after work
...the husband who gets a dozen roses for his wife "just because"
...the coworker who buys a latte for their friend because its been a rough day
...the elderly couple walking through the park holding hands after 55 years of marriage
...the couple who have been trying and trying who finally find out they're pregnant
...the older brother who lovingly shares his toys
...the best friends who text each other because they know how badly the other needs to laugh
...the wife who prepares a candle-lit dinner to make her husband's day extra-special
...the parents who adopt--choosing to love someone else's child like they love their own
...the grandmother who peels her grandchild's apple slices and doesn't make her eat her crusts
...the stranger who buys lunch for a homeless man
...the gentleman who gives up his seat on the bus
...the daddy who takes his littler girl on a Starbucks date

Look at these and other examples of beauty in life and let's celebrate them today!

The girl, bundled up, stepped through the back door into the cool night air. Walking a ways into her backyard, she stopped, opened her clutched hands, and stared at them. Actually, she was staring at what lay in her hands: several gems--not real gems of course, because, as every girl knows, real gems only come from Papa. No, these where quite fake; but they were sparkly.

She looked at the gems. She looked at the stars. She looked back at the gems.

She had to bury them. She had to bury her dreams. If the dreams were true, only here in the field of hope, only after she buried them, would they grow.

And if they were the true dreams--the ones Papa had put inside her heart before time began--then He would give them back to her. And they would be real gems, fit for a princess to wear. And they would sparkle a hundred times more than they did right now.

She looked down once again at her little fake gems--her ruby, the two emeralds, her light sapphire, and the diamond! Oh, she would miss looking at that diamond, even if it was only glass.

But think of how much bigger and prettier it will be if Papa gives it back, said a little voice.

She sighed, knowing this was true.

One more look at her gems. One more look at the sky.

She closed her eyes, one little tear sneaking out as she did. She kissed her gems. And then, she threw them up, sky-high, and let them all fall and skip around her and come to rest in that fertile soil of her Papa's garden.

For she knew that under Papa's gentle care, the right gems would grow. And they would be beautiful. And someday they would be hers again. But for now she would have to wait. Wait and hope...

I just love the elegance in this pic. So pretty!

I've always wanted a 1940's hat with netting. When I was little, My Mom would take me to consignment stores

and I would try on dress-up dresses and hats with netting... total girlie girl.

Secretly, I really wish my friends would want to do an all-out Vintage Party!

And that people wouldn't cop-out on it. But that we could have lovely 1940-ish party!

And I love the make-up in this picture... i am totally loving the eyeliner! The eyebrows are a bit much for me though :P

And I've always been told that I should stick with berry lip-stick--but i've always hated that.

But I actually like this shade on her.

Just some random thoughts...

Shout Out: To all the Seniors who have worked so hard on their theses, way to be!

I remember how hard that was, and I am so very very proud!

I remember thinking if all that work was for nothing, but I've found that it really shaped the direction I was headed--although considering a lot of other things, i'm pretty much on the exact time line i wrote in there, believe it or not.

So anyway, I am very proud of all of you!

I'm excited to see you grow into all that the Lord has for you as you finish CCA

and I'm uber excited to see you all launched into the next phase!

Loves!

i feel like this right now...

i just really like this :)

Do you ever find yourself trying to turn an adjective, which came from a noun, back into a noun by adding a suffix but finding you've made a colossal mess of the English language in the process? Or is that just me?

Most recently, while working on a paper addressing ambiguity in Wordsworth's "Strange Fits of Passion I have Known," Now, I have trouble pronouncing "ambiguity" and "ambiguous" because the stressed part of the word changes! But as I'm writing, I keep wanting to add a suffix onto "ambiguous" to make it something like "ambiguousness" or "ambiguousity." But then when my mind says it, I have to laugh at myself, yet again! I've done this so many times while tripping through this 8 page paper--which only had to be 5, but once you get me going, its hard for me to pull back. So, without a max, 8 it is! haha...

Do you have any words that you do that to? Or seem to always mispronounce?

just saw Leap Year this weekend and i just had to say how refreshingly clean it was. No, it wasn't absolutely original. It was just cute and funny and beautiful! But most importantly it was clean! I so appreciate that... after all of the junk i've been wading through for my English class it was so pleasurable to sit down and think, "see, entertainment doesn't have to be dirty!" haha... there i said it! :)

Places I REALLY want to go:

London

Paris

French country-side

New Zealand

Ireland

Scotland

Florence

Switzerland

Germany

Samara, Russia

Japan

Boston

New York

Bath

English countryside

English lake-country

Austria

Israel

Sydney

bunches of other places!!!

oh, i do hope "someday" comes soon! :)

my prayer for America...

"And now, here's what I'm going to do:
I'm going to start all over again.
I'm taking her back out into the wilderness
where we had our first date, and I'll court her.
I'll give her bouquets of roses.
I'll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope...

And then I'll marry you for good—forever!
I'll marry you true and proper, in love and tenderness.
Yes, I'll marry you and neither leave you nor let you go.
You'll know me, God, for who I really am."

-Hosea 2:14-15, 19-20

less than one page in to my last Jane Austen conquest--Mansfield Park--before I had to stop for this reflective quote:

"There are certainly not so many men of large fortune in the world, as there are pretty women who deserve them..."

hehe... i love it! She never ceases to amaze me!

more to come later... =)

hope

Hope is more than just a word, it’s a state of being.

It’s a firm belief that even if you don’t know how, even if you don’t know when,

God will come through and better days are up ahead.

Life sends rain… Hope dances in the puddles until the sun comes out again…

- Holley Gerth

update

I'm LOVING college!

This is kind of new for me! There have been moments of excitement, but not like this. Now i'm really loving it!

I'm taking French 102 and it's real fun because nearly the entire class period is in French.

I'm also taking English 197 and 202. These classes are linked. So, what that means, is that in 202 the professor lectures on how to approach literature and in 197 a different teacher gives us writing exercises and helps us with papers regarding the reading homework for 202. This basically means I have less homework and less "in class" time. Which is fine with me! So far, we've read the "Lucy Poems" and "Tintern Abbey" by Wordsworth, an article by T.S. Eliot, and a selection of Shakespeare's Sonnets. We're going to be reading a lot more poetry and articles but we also are reading Things Fall Apart by Achebe, Heart of Darkness by Conrad, and, one of my favorites, Merchant of Venice by Shakespeare. My teachers are great too. My English professor said the other day, "Literature is the art of words arraigned a certain way." Hehe! So excited!

I've been able to engage so much more this quarter and step more fully into my intended major(s).

But it hasn't been easy. I've also really been wrestling with a lot of the philosophy that is being blasted our direction. We have had several "New Historicists" vs. "New Critics" debates--and i've had to just stand back and say, "I don't agree with either!"

I have noticed how easy it is for my mind to be over-stimulated by all this amazing information i'm hearing and discovering. But it is so empty!

It's amazing and all to learn and to understand. But, I'm learning how much I don't want that to be my goal or my focus.

It truly is all about His glory. I'm beginning to see how dissatisfying everything else is--especially intellectualism. I don't want book-knowledge... I want His wisdom.

I know this probably sounds pathetically religious; but i'm seeing how He is my treasure. He excites and satisfies me more!

Kim Walker has a new song out called "I Need You More" and it has been the soundtrack to my life this last week. The words are SO simple! And yet, they wreck me!

I need you more

More than yesterday

I need you more

More than words can say

I need you more

Than ever before

I need you Lord

I need you Lord

More than the air I breathe

More than the song I sing

More than the next heart beat

More than anything!

And Lord as time goes by

I’ll be by your side

Cuz I never want to go back

To my old life!

I need you more

More than yesterday

I need you more

More than words can say

I need you more

Than ever before

I need you Lord

I need you Lord

We give you the Highest Praise!!!

Bribing someone to watch Lord of the Rings?!

How pathetic is that?

Oh well, it's for their benefit! So off I go...

Ross Harrison Robert Baker - you have my heart already!

I raise my hands once again as the song soars... The keyboard, electric cello, and electric guitar has the crowd swaying when the guitarist pulls out a violin bow and begins to gently slide it across his guitar strings. "Led Zeppelin style," my brother whispers. All I know is it sounds like ecstasy...

Strains of "O holy night" strike my ears and I melt again! Then they start into another song--only this time with xylophones, tambourines, drums, cymbals, ukuleles, and a myriad of other instruments I could not even name. This time it's "Joy to the world." And this time I'm giddy while trying to decide if I want to enjoy the moment or capture it as a video on my phone.

Splicing Christmas Carols, adding hymns, recreating arrangements--the music is simply overpowering. Then one of the artists brings it down. He's on his acoustic now and the music is much simpler once again. "We are still in need of a Savior. America is oppressed--if it is in small ways like our economic crises, or in the injustice of human slavery. We need hope just like the Israelites. And these are our songs of hope..."

"Silent Night" has everyone singing along. peaceful yet profound :)

And I have to sit down at this point--to take it in, and to rest in the peace of the moment...

How do I describe the way the music moves me? These aren't just songs--they are Christmas songs! And not performed any old way... it's worship, pure worship! Music raptures me to somewhere simply indescribable.

This Future of Forestry Christmas Concert reminds of that. Their incredibly-gifted, opening act, Josiah James, reminds me of that. The Sacred Sounds of Christmas Concert I was at just a few weeks ago reminds me of that. Breathtaking! There comes a point as the music crescendos and I just don't want to ever leave... And it makes me so grateful! I'm so grateful that God created a world with music and flavor and color and aromas and sensations--we could have survived without all those things, but He gave them to us anyway! And I'm so happy for that!

And I really do think about all these things as Future of Forestry wraps up another Christmas Carol... :)

i believe in the power of true love's first kiss...

Stars

"Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars..."

* * * * * * *

"Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!"

* * * * * * *

you should see the stars tonight
how they shimmer shine so bright
against the black they look so white
comin down from such a height
to reach me now, reach me now

you should see the moon in the flight
cuttin cross the misty night
softly dancin in sunshine
reflections of this light
reach me now, you reach me now

and how could such a thing
shine its light on me
and make everything beautiful again

and you should feel the sun in the spring
comin out after a rain
suddenly all is green
sunshine on everything
i can feel it now, i feel you now

and how could such a thing
shine its light on me
and make everything beautiful

and you should hear the angels sing
all gathered round their king
more beautiful than you could dream
i've been quietly listening
you can hear 'em now, i hear em now

and how could such a king
shine His light on me
and make everything beautiful
and i wanna shine
i wanna be light
i wanna tell you it'll be alright
and i wanna shine and i wanna fly
just to tell you now
it'll be alright, it'll be alright
it'll be alright.

cus i got nothing of my own to give to you
but this light that shines on me shines on you
and makes everything beautiful, again.
it'll be alright, it'll be alright.

* * * * * * *

* * * * * * *

"Do we gaze at the stars because we are human? Or, are we human because gaze at the stars?"

* * * * * * *

Hope is written in the stars.

The stars have hung in the sky longer than any of us and will be there long after us. During war, famine, depression, sickness, pain, or heartache--every night the stars have come out. Though clouds may shroud them-we may stand confident they are still there. Though we may not have time to look up, they remain. Stars remind us that beauty can be found even on the darkest night!

Remember the stars...

loves

so....... i'm becoming more and more aware that one of the most beautiful things in the world is adoption! Two people taking a little person who belongs to no one and creating a place for them to belong. It such a close reflection of the Father's love! When I see little boys and girls who've been adopted, I usually want to cry... it's just so beautiful.

and this weekend I watched a movie called Bella and adoption is a key part of the story. Such a beautiful movie. And here is a link to this great song that went with it, by Joey Ryan. listen and enjoy

Christmas - me and Washington Irving

I was forced to read this in high school and hated it. But for school, I was assigned this passage again and absolutely fell in love with it! Warm feelings of nostalgia and the beauty of all that is Christmas is so perfectly described in his little narrative. This is only a portion, but please enjoy:

There is nothing in England that exercises a more delightful spell over my imagination than the lingerings of the holiday customs and rural games of former times. They recall the pictures my fancy used to draw in the May morning of life, when as yet I only knew the world through books, and believed it to be all that poets had painted it; and they bring with them the flavour of those honest days of yore, in which, perhaps with equal fallacy, I am apt to think the world was more home-bred, social, and joyous than at present. I regret to say that they are daily growing more and more faint, being gradually worn away by time, but still more obliterated by modern fashion. They resemble those picturesque morsels of Gothic architecture which we see crumbling in various parts of the country, partly dilapidated by the waste of ages, and partly lost in the additions and alterations of latter days. Poetry, however, clings with cherishing fondness about the rural game and holiday revel, from which it has derived so many of its themes,--as the ivy winds its rich foliage about the Gothic arch and mouldering tower, gratefully repaying their support by clasping together their tottering remains, and, as it were, embalming them in verdure.

Of all the old festivals, however, that of Christmas awakens the strongest and most heartfelt associations. There is a tone of solemn and sacred feeling that blends with our conviviality, and lifts the spirit to a state of hallowed and elevated enjoyment. The services of the church about this season are extremely tender and inspiring. They dwell on the beautiful story of the origin of our faith, and the pastoral scenes that accompanied its announcement. They gradually increase in fervour and pathos during the season of Advent, until they break forth in full jubilee on the morning that brought peace and good-will to men. I do not know a grander effect of music on the moral feelings than to hear the full choir and the pealing organ performing a Christmas anthem in a cathedral, and filling every part of the vast pile with triumphant harmony.

It is a beautiful arrangement, also derived from days of yore, that this festival, which commemorates the announcement of the religion of peace and love, has been made the season for gathering together of family connections, and drawing closer again those bands of kindred hearts which the cares and pleasures and sorrows of the world are continually operating to cast loose; of calling back the children of a family who have launched forth in life, and wandered widely asunder, once more to assemble about the paternal hearth, that rallying-place of the affections, there to grow young and loving again among the endearing mementoes of childhood.

There is something in the very season of the year that gives a charm to the festivity of Christmas. At other times we derive a great portion of our pleasures from the mere beauties of nature. Our feelings sally forth and dissipate themselves over the sunny landscape, and we "live abroad and everywhere." The song of the bird, the murmur of the stream, the breathing fragrance of spring, the soft voluptuousness of summer, the golden pomp of autumn; earth with its mantle of refreshing green, and heaven with its deep delicious blue and its cloudy magnificence, all fill us with mute but exquisite delight, and we revel in the luxury of mere sensation. But in the depth of winter, when nature lies despoiled of every charm, and wrapped in her shroud of sheeted snow, we turn for our gratifications to moral sources. The dreariness and desolation of the landscape, the short gloomy days and darksome nights, while they circumscribe our wanderings, shut in our feelings also from rambling abroad, and make us more keenly disposed for the pleasures of the social circle. Our thoughts are more concentrated; our friendly sympathies more aroused. we feel more sensibly the charm of each other's society, and are brought more closely together by dependence on each other for enjoyment. Heart calleth unto heart; and we draw our pleasures from the deep wells of living kindness, which lie in the quiet recesses of our bosoms: and which when resorted to, furnish forth the pure element of domestic felicity.

The pitchy gloom without makes the heart dilate on entering the room filled with the glow and warmth of the evening fire. The ruddy blaze diffuses an artificial summer and sunshine through the room, and lights up each countenance into a kindlier welcome. Where does the honest face of hospitality expand into a broader and more cordial smile--where is the shy glance of love more sweetly eloquent--than by the winter fireside?

Merry Christmas!

Repentance is a gift!

This is possibly the best revelation ever! Lately the Lord has been showing me the value of repentance. It is astonishing.

I realized that repentance demonstrates 2 key things--we are not perfect and we cannot make ourselves perfect. So repentance becomes the appropriation of the power of Christ's blood! It's an invitation for the transforming power of God to invade our existence. It helps us to realize that we are utterly dependent on Christ for His Forgiveness, His Mercy, and His abundant Grace to change! We cannot save ourselves. We cannot fix ourselves. Most of the time we cannot even make the right decision. But there is power in the Blood. And that power is able to transform our bad habits, our evil motivations, our self-centered thinking. He changes us--we cannot change ourselves! His forgiveness and His blood are the hope for a brighter future! Repentance is such a gift. This is our hope to change!

"Once more the darkness is dispersed; once more the light is created. Let the people that sat in the darkness of ignorance now look upon the light of knowledge. The things of old have passed away; behold, all things are made new. He who has no mother in heaven is now born without father on earth. The laws of nature are overthrown, for the upper world must be filled with citizens. He who is without flesh becomes incarnate; the Word puts on a body; the Invisible is seen; He whom no hand can touch is handled; the Timeless has a beginning; the Son of God becomes Son of Man -- Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today and forever." - Gregory of Nazianzus, Bishop of Constantinople

ahhh! Merry Christmas everyone!!!

The Lord said to Abram, "Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted..."

The Lord took Abram outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars--if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."

Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.

I wonder how many trips to the beach or walks under the stars it took... probably fewer than the reminders God gives me. Jehovah entrusted his dream to a man! He cultivated and cared for that dream in the heart of His son. How could the Creator of all reduce Himself to that degree? It blows my mind! He is faithful where we are faithless. He carries our dream when all we are are broken pieces. He sheds the light of His face into the darkness of our heart. He shares Himself with us!