New Dress

This hardly does it justice!!

...in Spokane

So happy to be in Spokane! I love this city!!!

It's so beautiful... and it so very very relaxing. Everything here is a slower pace (Although, it might only be because I'm spending time with Grandparents... but life here is just slower!)

I'm loving family time (and shopping!!)

Tonight is a special treat... dinner at Riverfront Park :)

So many good memories there... (FBLA happiness!)

Anyway... just thought I'd check in!

Cutsies

Came across a song that just brightened my day... :)

It's called Don't Let Me Fall by Lenka

You can listen to it here. These are the lyrics:

Underneath the moon,

Underneath the stars

Heres a little heart for you

Up above the world,

Up above it all

Heres a hand to hold on to

But if I should break,

If I should fall away

What am I to do?

I need someone to take,

A little of the weight

Or I'll fall through

You're just the one

That I've been waiting for

I'll give you

All that I have

To give and more

But don't let me fall

Take a little time,

Walk a little line

Got the balance right

Give a little love,

Gimme just enough

So that I can hang on tight

We will be alright,

I'll be by your side

I wont let you down

But I gotta know,

No matter how things go

That you will be alright

You're just the one

That I've been waiting for

I'll give you all

That I have

To give and more

But don't let me fall

Underneath the moon,

Underneath the stars

Heres a little heart for you

Up above the world,

Up above it all

Heres a hand to hold on to

Your just the one

That I've been waiting for

I'll give you

All that I have

To give and more

But don't let me fall

You'll be the one

That I'll love forever more

I'll be here holding you

High above it all

But don't let me fall

Thought you would enjoy... just Cute :)

Rainier Vista

I found some more, breathtaking views of my dear Rainier!

You formed the mountains by your power,

having armed yourself with strength - ps. 65:6

Before the mountains were born,

Or you brought forth the earth and the world,

From everlasting to everlasting You are God. - ps.90:2

In his hands are the depths of the earth,

And the mountain peaks belong to Him! - ps. 95:4

wow, God! wow!

A psalm of love...

A reflection from my journal, a year ago today:

I could pour myself out

Paint my life on these pages

I could sing forever

To let others know my heart

But none could ever love me

The beautiful way you do!

You are my lover

And my bestest friend

You know my heart,

Its calms and its storms.

And I know you'll never leave

Because your love knows no end.

Peonies bloom!

My mom's peonies recently bloomed and have since all passed on to make way for daisies and roses...

But since they are probably my favorite flower, i paid very close attention to them this year. 

I waited, I helped water, I even harnessed their beauty as decorations and gifts to others. 

And their beauty was as overpowering as I had imagined while I waited.

But that was the funny part... waiting.

All I could see where lots and lots of little buds... 

Then one day the first bud started bust its little green cacoon.

Within two days, 5 peonies had fully bloomed! 

I mean, there was a little one inch bud.... then two days later, 

we had flowers with tons of petals that measured three inches in diameter!

How the heck does that happen?

Only God!

That's right...

Then I realized.... sometimes, He works in our lives like He works in the peony.

No one can see the inside of the bud of our heart--but He is at work!

And then one day, suddenly and all of a sudden, we bloom!

We reach our appointed time!

We awaken to the image of himself that he has been crafting in our bud-like hearts!

We bloom and our holiness becomes attractive--people can't fail to see God's work or His Beauty!

I've decided, I don't mind growing like a peony.

It's ok if no one else sees my progress... just wait, one day it will be evident.

I can be patient, I know what's in store.

I've seen a peony bloom.

Beneath a Willow

So, about a year ago, some very very thoughtful friends of mine secretively wrote this poem for me at a Microsoft Conference. I love it and thought I would share it with the world:

Samara, the lady fair

And beautifully made,

Sighed as she sat down 

Beneath a willow in its shade.

As she leaned against this tree, 

the young lady yawned.

Soon she fell fast asleep

And this is what she saw...

...A sun-lit road and daffodils,

An old abandoned shoe,

Adorned with seven butterflies

And flowers-white and blue.

With curious and wandering thoughts,

She traveled down the road,

Not knowing what was next 

Not knowing where to go.

Like the flicker of a lighted lamp

A creature caught her glance.

A bounding hart with eyes aglow,

Alive in prideful prance.

The creature had such presence!

Samara wished to know

From whence derived its fire--

Its passion, grace, and flow!

Its commanding presence halted

And began to graze in a clear

Which is when the youthful Samara

Started to draw near

Cautiously she placed each step

Avoiding making noise.

But-Ah!-one crackle of a twig

Disrupted the creature's poise.

With a twinkle in his eye

He felt her presence there.

Samara quickly held her breath

As the wind blew in her hair.

The hart's eyes stared into hers

Until finally making a turn

And he slowly walked away

Through the bushes and the ferns.

She hesitated once, and then,

With one last look around,

Samara chose to follow him,

to see where he was bound.

She, persistent in pursuit,

Cautious of what was ahead,

Kept sight of the creature,

The hart knowing as he fled.

He knew her real intention,

Knew her heart was true,

But the wild that lay inside him

Pushed him as he flew.

She ran with sheer joy.

She ran to keep his pace,

For the strength she gave to chase him

Was the cost to see his face.

He stopped beside a willow tree

And turned to look at her.

His eyes met hers; she smiled at him

And walked to join him there...

... The lady awoke with a start

Alone out in the dark.

The images were fading ,

Replaced with grass and bark--

Except... those blazing eyes!

That memory was her own.

One thing she knew for sure;

Such peace she'd never known

For the prince of the forest 

Is not easily caught.

The desire to give up quickly

Must be beat and fought.

The thirst for comfort,

The love of rest,

Must be abandoned 

To gain what is the best.

The best is to be near him, 

Gazing in his eyes,

Knowing what you have given 

Was worth this heavenly prize.

- Composed by:

Sean Matthews

Jared Crealock

Dahlia Avila

Emily Franklin

July 2008, Houston, Texas

special

What made us feel special when we were little kids? We felt special...

...when someone peeled our apple slices

...when we got a happy meal instead of a regular McDonalds burger

...when we were excused from eating our crust or vegetables

...when our parents bought the real Kool-Aid instead of the generic--just so we could twist off the cap!

...when we got animal crackers in the special, circus box rather than a baggy full of the Costco kind

Why can't the little things of life make us as happy as when we were little?

Lord, help us see and appreciate the smallest of things!

Summer Reading List :)

Summer is finally here and I have worked up an exciting reading list. Some are first-timers, others i've just never finished, and a few are just so good that i need to read them again :)

Here are Just a Few:

At the Back of the North Wind by George McDonald

The Perelandra Series - Clive Staples

Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn - Samuel Clemens

Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

Emma - Jane Austen..... getting soooo close to conquering Jane Austen!

Shakespeare (several different plays)

Shame off You - Alan D. Wright

Ragamuffin Gospel - Brennan Manning

Surprised By Hope - N. T. Wright

The Diary of Anne Frank 

Enemies Within - Pastor Norm Willis

The Circle Trilogy - Ted Dekker:)

yippeeeeee

Dedication to The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

"My Dear Lucy,

I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realized that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think of it. I shall probably be too deaf to hear, and too old to understand, a word you say, but I shall still beyour affectionate Godfather,
C.S. Lewis"

I love this quote... someday we will all be old enough to start reading fairy tales again...

I want more...

Let the light of Your face shine down on me

And let me feel it!

I want to be so satisfied in the love of the Lord that I am not for sale! 

I want to be so rooted in HIS words of identity and acceptance that I am not insecure and defensive about my self image. 

I want to be so lost in my King, my Love, that my life, with all it's pettiness, falls to the wayside! 

I want more of HIM!!!!!

He's not a tame lion...

The other day I was gazing at my beautiful mountain!!! Then i thought, that mountain has claimed lives :(

People have died there!

And then Father whispered in my ear, "He's not a tame lion... but he is good!"

And i realized that, sometimes, this walk requires all... even our very lives! He's not a tame lion... but he is good!

lalala

Secret Obsession: Spools of Thread... They make me sooo happy!

Don't you think they're cute?

Completion!!!

I can't believe I am almost finished with my freshman year! 

I was riding the bus home yesterday, crossing 520, when I looked up, and there was Rainier in all its brilliance! And I remembered my verse for the year, Psalm 121:1 - "I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

Ahh! I just can't believe what has happened the last year--sometimes I feel stuck, sometimes I feel lost, but the Lord has done so much this past year! and He just keeps on coming! In less than 2 weeks, I will be a sophomore. In 3 weeks, I will be in California! I might be stepping into a new job. Life goes on! The adventure continues! And the Lord has so much in store for a bright future!

Breaking habits

I am a creature of habit...

I eat the same thing every day for breakfast. I sit in the same seat on the bus and in my classes. And - I look both ways when I cross a one way street...

Yes... I'm special!

But today is a day to break those habits. I am going to literally "stop and smell the roses..." I paused to just sit and stare at my beloved Rainier. After class, I am going to the UW's herb garden to journal. I may sit and commune with the creator in the Grove... 

Basically - it's time to enjoy the adventure :)

PS - during my little adventure in the herb garden... i totally busted open the back of my pants! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - God has SUCH  a sense of humor! hehe I think He doesn't want me to take myself too seriously :)

A new year...

So I am 19.... kind of bizarre...

I have decided that this year is a year of Faith! I want to walk in 

"The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd...How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world."

Ahh! This is what I want! I want to live so abandoned... with no regard to my own life!

Yea 19!

I lift up my eyes to the hills...

School has taken over my life recently! Winter quarter is almost over, Praise Him! But with my busy schedule I have completely neglected my journal and my blog. So, I am simply remedying that...

At the beginning of the school year, the Lord gave me this promise about me being able to trust Him in His goodness. He said the reminder of that promise would be every time I see the mountains. This is so special, because I have to go over the 520 bridge every day which has one of the best views of the Olympics and the Cascades. Also, at school there is a long stretch across campus called Rainier Vista - the view of the mountain is breathtaking. 

So, the Lord explained to me about the mountains and that they would be a sign. He also gave me a verse, Psalm 24:

"I lift up my eyes to the hills - from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth."

So, the mountains were beginning to mean a lot to me. But I was sadly disappointed when I realized that I can rarely see the mountains. They always seem to be covered up in fog and clouds - at least, until THIS week.

This week may have been too cold, but it was gorgeous!!! Every morning the mountains greeted me in brilliancy! It stirred my spirit and soul and filled me with hope. 

I fell in love with the mountains!

It has been incredible! But the Lord added more meaning this week...

I have always known my name meant "Watchful One." I appreciate how unique my name is and am so grateful to my parents for it! But this week, my mom and I were talking and she said, "Samara, I looked up the meaning of your name again and discovered something. The literal Hebrew meaning is 'Mountain Watcher.'" 

Woah! Shaaabbaaaaa!

After explaining about the mountains and the promise, she and I were both left in shock... 

I love the MOUNTAINS!!!

I cut my hair!!!

It's all gone! I whacked my hair. It hasn't really been this short since I was two years old! 

This is a little exhilarating -- a little strange! But above all, it is FUN. 

Craziness - it's just totally not there! 

So far no regrets - just shock! 

I'm going to stop rambling now... Haha - it's just SO different!!!

Have you ever considered?

I happen to have a collection of some of the most random yet interesting facts. So, here goes... Have you ever considered?

- In the 1995 version of "Little Women," Laurie (played by Christian Bale) promises Amy (played by Kirsten Dunst) that he would "kisser her before she died." Oddly enough, Bale went on to play Bruce Wayne in "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight," while Dunst went on to become "Spiderman's" leading lady. 

- Shia LaBeouf is part French-Canadian, part Jewish. His name, translated into English, means "Praise God for Beef."

- John Williams, one of the Fathers of the American, cinematic score, has been composing for decades. His brilliance created three of the most memorable and recognizable tunes of all time - themes for Star Wars, Jaws, and Indiana Jones.

- Strangely enough, Shia LaBeouf's character in Indiana Jones, Mutt Williams, also has an interesting etymology. His name is "Mutt" because, like "Indiana," it is a name referring to a dog, and "Williams" because of composer John Williams.

FBLA

I remember the first time I placed at regionals. I remember the first time I placed at state. What exhilaration! I was only 13, and I had discovered part of myself. I didn't realize where it would take me...

After 4 years in FBLA, 4 little plaques from state, and a trophy from nationals, I returned to FBLA competitions today--as an advisor. It was quite a strange experience. I have never been so painfully aware that I am no longer in high school. Sadly, people kept asking me what high school I was from and what competitions I was competing in. ARGH! If only I could be 18, but look 20!

That aside, it was so weird! I wasn't nervous for me, I was nervous for THEM. Is that what being a mother is going to feel like? I don't know. I just felt the joys and heartbreaks in such a different way. It's funny how things like that can change in just a few years... 

hmmm...

My Grand Little Adventure...

My grand little adventure…

It is a very strange thing, growing up. As an 18 year-old woman, people expect me to be responsible and be able to handle myself. What they don’t realize is that despite my fair grades and quasi-professional demeanor, I am just a little girl.

Mind you, I am growing up… I don’t have peter-pan syndrome, and I don’t shirk responsibility… But I am a little naïve and I still get excited about the funniest things. To put it shortly, I am just not as grown up as I appear.

As evidence of this, I have decided to put forth today’s adventure.

But first, a little background: Everyday I travel across beautiful Lake Washington to attend college. Although the campus and its surroundings first struck me as vague, unfamiliar, and pretty scary, I have become quite at home in most of the area. I have conquered the bus routes, discovered short cuts to my classes, and found a few favorite spots off campus. But today I was presented with a challenge just as vague, unfamiliar, and scary as going to school had been at first—Downtown Seattle. I wanted to go visit my friends from Eventforce after classes were over. But it presented quite a challenge. I didn’t know off the top of my head how exactly to get there or what obstacles I should plan for.

So thus began my research. I had seen buses on campus that read “Downtown,” so I figured that it shouldn’t be too difficult. I opened up several tabs on Safari to compare different bus routes and found that many buses would work for my particular scenario. That was before school this morning. I then spent a good portion of my history lecture examining Seattle from a “google maps” point of view. I am slightly ashamed that I am SO unfamiliar with the streets of my native city. I’ve been down there several times, but someone else was always driving, someone else was always leading or pointing me in the right direction. So there I sat, taking down notes regarding the beginning of urban life in the 11th century—and staring at street names on a map such as “Denny,” “Olive,” and “Pike.”

I guess this would be a good time to explain one of my quirks. I need orientation. Fortunately, it comes fairly easy to me. I have a gift, I suppose. When I am in the mall, I can go into a store, come out of the store, and know exactly which direction I was originally heading. Nothing too exciting, but it impresses my dazed older sister. This orientation-craving also expresses itself in my mild obsession with maps. I have a map of Europe that has all the cities I want to travel to marked on it. When I went on my MC tour, I bought a map just so I would know where we were. I just love maps. And I always want to know where I am…

So, after thorough investigation, it was time to set off and get where I needed to go without much but my memory to go off of.

I successfully caught one of the right buses and within minutes I was in the Seattle bus tunnel. After ascending to the street, I started on foot to the convention center. This is where being a little girl fits back in. I was walking along the streets of Down-town Seattle and it struck me – I am still such a little girl. Not too long ago, I wasn’t allowed to leave my cul-de-sac. Now I am traipsing through the streets of a large metropolis all by myself. How did this happen? When did this happen?

I quickly (and uneventfully) arrived at the convention center, where I enjoyed seeing a few friends and frequently experiencing deja vu. After the visit was over, I was able to easily navigate myself back to the bus tunnel and catch the bus home…

Ah, what a grand little adventure. Tune in tomorrow for my next planned

Father Abraham...

i often wonder about Abraham... i mean, how did he do it? How could he leave EVERYTHING and go off into the unknown. The unknown makes me want to scream and hide under my covers. But he went...

What did he think when God said, "You see all those stars? Your family is going to be bigger than that!" He probably felt the same way i sometimes do about the promises of God. "God, i believe you because - you're God! But... i don't see how that could possibly happen!" To think that he walked through the rest of his life walking in that unknown - walking with a promise unfulfilled, yet intact! I don't think I could do that...

But what will happen when we get to heaven and God says, "Abraham, Abraham... come up here. I want you to see something." Abraham joins his Father, his Creator, his Delight on his throne. And Father says, "Abraham -- look at your family now." Every Jew, every Old-Testament believer, every Christian all gathered in heaven - all the descendants of the one who had a glimpse of the Father-heart of God. A dream fulfilled!

"Not one of these people, even though their lives were exemplary, got their hands on what ws promised. God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours."

Rosie Hardy

Check her out (some stuff is weird, but look at her "Behind the Scene's Fairy-tales..."): Rosie Hardy

Introduction

So, i've been given these thoughts. i don't know exactly what to do with them or how to express them. i'm not very fond of my own writing... i think it's because i've read so many beautiful things - i know what i want writing to sound like (and i fall short of that). 

But i've been encouraged to write. to get my thoughts out. so i thought i would allow some to leak out here. 

I guess i have a few reasons for creating a blog right now. well, to begin with, i have a tendency to waste time on-line. i deactivated my facebook because of it. but i think this is different. i think this is constructive. but it will also provide some of the outlet i enjoyed on facebook...

Another reason for this little blog is that i am losing a piece of my best friend. in just a matter of days, she will exchange vows with one of the most amazing men on earth and go to start a life with him... but i will lose all the time i had to just talk with her. to tell her about my class or a funny scenario on the bus or how i felt at work. i won't be able to go out to the kitchen and ask her advice on what i'm experiencing. so this blog will help me recover some of that... words help me process things - and this will be where i'll place the words that don't seem to have any other home. 

i hope you enjoy...