loves

so....... i'm becoming more and more aware that one of the most beautiful things in the world is adoption! Two people taking a little person who belongs to no one and creating a place for them to belong. It such a close reflection of the Father's love! When I see little boys and girls who've been adopted, I usually want to cry... it's just so beautiful.

and this weekend I watched a movie called Bella and adoption is a key part of the story. Such a beautiful movie. And here is a link to this great song that went with it, by Joey Ryan. listen and enjoy

Christmas - me and Washington Irving

I was forced to read this in high school and hated it. But for school, I was assigned this passage again and absolutely fell in love with it! Warm feelings of nostalgia and the beauty of all that is Christmas is so perfectly described in his little narrative. This is only a portion, but please enjoy:

There is nothing in England that exercises a more delightful spell over my imagination than the lingerings of the holiday customs and rural games of former times. They recall the pictures my fancy used to draw in the May morning of life, when as yet I only knew the world through books, and believed it to be all that poets had painted it; and they bring with them the flavour of those honest days of yore, in which, perhaps with equal fallacy, I am apt to think the world was more home-bred, social, and joyous than at present. I regret to say that they are daily growing more and more faint, being gradually worn away by time, but still more obliterated by modern fashion. They resemble those picturesque morsels of Gothic architecture which we see crumbling in various parts of the country, partly dilapidated by the waste of ages, and partly lost in the additions and alterations of latter days. Poetry, however, clings with cherishing fondness about the rural game and holiday revel, from which it has derived so many of its themes,--as the ivy winds its rich foliage about the Gothic arch and mouldering tower, gratefully repaying their support by clasping together their tottering remains, and, as it were, embalming them in verdure.

Of all the old festivals, however, that of Christmas awakens the strongest and most heartfelt associations. There is a tone of solemn and sacred feeling that blends with our conviviality, and lifts the spirit to a state of hallowed and elevated enjoyment. The services of the church about this season are extremely tender and inspiring. They dwell on the beautiful story of the origin of our faith, and the pastoral scenes that accompanied its announcement. They gradually increase in fervour and pathos during the season of Advent, until they break forth in full jubilee on the morning that brought peace and good-will to men. I do not know a grander effect of music on the moral feelings than to hear the full choir and the pealing organ performing a Christmas anthem in a cathedral, and filling every part of the vast pile with triumphant harmony.

It is a beautiful arrangement, also derived from days of yore, that this festival, which commemorates the announcement of the religion of peace and love, has been made the season for gathering together of family connections, and drawing closer again those bands of kindred hearts which the cares and pleasures and sorrows of the world are continually operating to cast loose; of calling back the children of a family who have launched forth in life, and wandered widely asunder, once more to assemble about the paternal hearth, that rallying-place of the affections, there to grow young and loving again among the endearing mementoes of childhood.

There is something in the very season of the year that gives a charm to the festivity of Christmas. At other times we derive a great portion of our pleasures from the mere beauties of nature. Our feelings sally forth and dissipate themselves over the sunny landscape, and we "live abroad and everywhere." The song of the bird, the murmur of the stream, the breathing fragrance of spring, the soft voluptuousness of summer, the golden pomp of autumn; earth with its mantle of refreshing green, and heaven with its deep delicious blue and its cloudy magnificence, all fill us with mute but exquisite delight, and we revel in the luxury of mere sensation. But in the depth of winter, when nature lies despoiled of every charm, and wrapped in her shroud of sheeted snow, we turn for our gratifications to moral sources. The dreariness and desolation of the landscape, the short gloomy days and darksome nights, while they circumscribe our wanderings, shut in our feelings also from rambling abroad, and make us more keenly disposed for the pleasures of the social circle. Our thoughts are more concentrated; our friendly sympathies more aroused. we feel more sensibly the charm of each other's society, and are brought more closely together by dependence on each other for enjoyment. Heart calleth unto heart; and we draw our pleasures from the deep wells of living kindness, which lie in the quiet recesses of our bosoms: and which when resorted to, furnish forth the pure element of domestic felicity.

The pitchy gloom without makes the heart dilate on entering the room filled with the glow and warmth of the evening fire. The ruddy blaze diffuses an artificial summer and sunshine through the room, and lights up each countenance into a kindlier welcome. Where does the honest face of hospitality expand into a broader and more cordial smile--where is the shy glance of love more sweetly eloquent--than by the winter fireside?

Merry Christmas!

Repentance is a gift!

This is possibly the best revelation ever! Lately the Lord has been showing me the value of repentance. It is astonishing.

I realized that repentance demonstrates 2 key things--we are not perfect and we cannot make ourselves perfect. So repentance becomes the appropriation of the power of Christ's blood! It's an invitation for the transforming power of God to invade our existence. It helps us to realize that we are utterly dependent on Christ for His Forgiveness, His Mercy, and His abundant Grace to change! We cannot save ourselves. We cannot fix ourselves. Most of the time we cannot even make the right decision. But there is power in the Blood. And that power is able to transform our bad habits, our evil motivations, our self-centered thinking. He changes us--we cannot change ourselves! His forgiveness and His blood are the hope for a brighter future! Repentance is such a gift. This is our hope to change!

"Once more the darkness is dispersed; once more the light is created. Let the people that sat in the darkness of ignorance now look upon the light of knowledge. The things of old have passed away; behold, all things are made new. He who has no mother in heaven is now born without father on earth. The laws of nature are overthrown, for the upper world must be filled with citizens. He who is without flesh becomes incarnate; the Word puts on a body; the Invisible is seen; He whom no hand can touch is handled; the Timeless has a beginning; the Son of God becomes Son of Man -- Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today and forever." - Gregory of Nazianzus, Bishop of Constantinople

ahhh! Merry Christmas everyone!!!

The Lord said to Abram, "Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted..."

The Lord took Abram outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars--if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."

Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.

I wonder how many trips to the beach or walks under the stars it took... probably fewer than the reminders God gives me. Jehovah entrusted his dream to a man! He cultivated and cared for that dream in the heart of His son. How could the Creator of all reduce Himself to that degree? It blows my mind! He is faithful where we are faithless. He carries our dream when all we are are broken pieces. He sheds the light of His face into the darkness of our heart. He shares Himself with us!

a daughter's heart

Lately, God has been putting such a burden on my heart for different women's issues lately: abuse, cutting, domestic violence, trafficking, etc. I know Papa wants to restore and renew! So... i thought I would blog about just a few different things that have lately come to my attention

This makes me so proud of my school! Recently the Greek Community put together an even called "Walk a Mile in Her Shoes." The event drove nearly 200 college guys to buy size 14 high-heels and make a 1 mile march against domestic violence! Check out the full story at the link above.

I recently saw a music video my Red Jumpsuit Apparatus called Face Down. It's a song about domestic violence. The lyrics speak for themselves: "Do you feel like a man when you push her around?"

Another music video--one of my favorites--is by a group called Between the Trees. The song is The Way She Feels. It's a song based on and featuring Renee, the girl who inspired "To Write Love on Her Arms." For those who haven't already read her incredible story, you can read it here.

One final video, and this one is hard to watch, is an domestic-violence awareness video that Keira Knightley and Joe Wright (Director of Pride and Prejudice and The Atonement) collaborated on. The video is graphic as it shows Keira getting beaten up but offers such an incredible, unforgettable message.

This blog may be a sort of "downer," but we have to wake up! So I invite you to take this little journey and see if it touches your heart and perhaps gives you an answer. Please leave comments with your thoughts on these issues!

"Alas, when once a woman has forgot the respect due to herself, by yielding to the solicitations of illicit love, they lose all their consequence, even in the eyes of the man whose art has betrayed them, and for whose sake they have sacrificed every valuable consideration...

"Believe me, many an unfortunate female, who has once strayed into the thorny paths of vice, would gladly return to virtue, was any generous friend to endeavor to raise and re-assure her; but alas! it cannot be, you say; the world would deride and scoff. Then let me tell you, 'tis a a very unfeeling world, and does not deserve half the blessings which a bountiful Providence showers upon it.

"Oh, thou benevolent Giver of all good! how shall we erring mortals dare to look up to thy mercy in the great day of retribution, if we now uncharitably refuse to overlook the errors , or alleviate the miseries, of our fellow-creatures." - Susanna Rowson, Charlotte Temple

Oh Daddy, I love your little girls! What I would give to bandage the broken hearts, black eyes, bruised arms, and bleeding wrists! My wish is to see girls who are more loved than they are insecure! I long for the opportunity to tell a girl that she can walk away, to tell her she's worth more than this, to let her know it's not her fault! If only I could give a piece of Daddy's heart to each and every one of these priceless broken girls!

quotes and lyrics

"Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?"

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine." -Yvaine

"If it doesn't break... if.. it.. doesn't break your heart it isn't love..." - switchfoot

"Allelujah, I'm caving in...

Allelujah, I'm in love again...

Allelujah, I'm a wretched man...

Allelujah, every breath is a second chance..." - switchfoot

"Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

"We must face tomorrow, whatever it may hold, with determination, joy and bravery" - Mr. Magorium

"Now we wait." - Mahoney

"No. We Breathe. We Pulse. We Regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. Thirty-seven seconds, well used, is a lifetime." - Mr. Magorium

"I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing" - flyleaf

"You think this is just a magazine, hmm? This is not just a magazine. This is a shining beacon of hope for... oh, I don't know... let's say a young boy growing up in Rhode Island with six brothers pretending to go to soccer practice when he was really going to sewing class and reading Runway under the covers at night with a flashlight. You have no idea how many legends have walked these halls. And what's worse, you don't care. Because this place, where so many people would die to work you only deign to work."

"I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist." - Paul Harvey

"A poem needs understanding through the senses… The point of diving in a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore, but to be in the lake—to… luxuriate in the sensation of water. You do not “work” the lake out. It is an experience beyond thought. Poetry soothes and emboldens the soul to accept mystery."

"This world is a great sculptor's shop. We are the statues and there is a rumor going around the shop that some of us are someday going to come to life..." - C. S. Lewis

"I will take the ring, though I do not know the way..." - Frodo Baggins

"He sits on His throne on high. He sees us all--and He knows what He is doing in the midst of each and every star in the heavens..." - Victor Hugo

"Women don't want to hear what men think. Women want to hear what they think in a deeper voice." - Bill Cosby

"Perhaps kissing is the best thing for crying, but it will not always stop it..." - George MacDonald

I've been terribly neglectful, but just had to write down a thought I had earlier this week.

I'm now considering double-majoring in English and Communications but to do this, I had to meet with an advisor. To my delight, I discovered that I can in fact graduate with a double major in the regular 4 years of school! (YIPPEE!!!)

The counselor and I spent the whole meeting talking about taking this class here and that class there in order to accomplish both when this thought hit me: College is like a giant, expensive, significant game of yahtzee! haha

The first year, no matter what you "roll" (or take) it counts for something. Now in my sophomore year, I have to be strategic about what I'm trying to "get out of the way." For me the 4 of a kind and straights are always hard to get but I may save me full house for another turn. And in the same way, I'm trying to get specific classes out of the way so that my junior and senior year, I'm not stuck but enjoying the game!

I don't know if that makes any sense, but it helped to lighten my mood so i thought i'd share :)

"We are most like God when we give.

Gaze upon Christ long enough, and you'll become more of a giver.

Give long enough, and you'll become more like Christ."

-Randy Alcorn

Gifted Hands

Just watched an incredible movie with my family - Gifted Hands. Cuba Gooding Jr. plays real life neuro-surgeon Ben Carson--a man who defied all odds. The son of a single black mom in Detroit in the 1960s, he overcame prejudice, scholastic obstacles and his own vices to become head of neuro-surgery at John Hopkins University. The film, based on Ben Carson's autobiography, was an amazing testimony to perseverance and faith!

Pretty much, I recommend it!

"maybe redemption has stories to tell..."

more Bright Star

This is perhaps the best explanation of poetry I have ever heard. It comes from a scene in the movie Bright Star (and can be found on the soundtrack, "Negative Capability) where John Keats (Ben Whishaw) is trying to teach Fanny (Abbie Cornish) a bit about poetry when Fanny says...

"I still don’t know how to work out a poem…"

"A poem needs understanding through the senses… The point of diving in a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore, but to be in the lake—to… luxuriate in the sensation of water. You do not “work” the lake out. It is an experience beyond thought. Poetry soothes and emboldens the soul to accept mystery..."

ahhh...... yes!

"You should be kissed and often and by someone who knows how..." - Rhett Butler

ahh...

lovely times...

was it a vision, or a waking dream...

I have tried, without success, to write something musical and moving about what I experienced last night. I cannot do it's loveliness and beauty justice beyond saying that I was enraptured by something beyond this world. I laughed. I longed. I cried. The pitter-patter of the rain on the beautiful dilapidated theatre was nothing compared to my tears...

Needless to say, this experience was indeed so pleasurable, I had to ask myself, in the words of Mr. John Keats, "Was it a vision, or a waking dream?"

as it concerns hearts...

"My dear Sam, you cannot always be torn in two.

You will have to be one and whole for many years.

You have so much to enjoy and to be, and to do.

Your part in this story will go on." – Frodo Baggins

john keats... falling in love with words

never before have i really loved poetry--never, until now...

Hither Hither Love

Hither, hither, love---
'Tis a shady mead---
Hither, hither, love!
Let us feed and feed!

Hither, hither, sweet---
'Tis a cowslip bed---
Hither, hither, sweet!
'Tis with dew bespread!

Hither, hither, dear
By the breath of life,
Hither, hither, dear!---
Be the summer's wife!

Though one moment's pleasure
In one moment flies---
Though the passion's treasure
In one moment dies;---

Yet it has not passed---
Think how near, how near!---
And while it doth last,
Think how dear, how dear!

Hither, hither, hither
Love its boon has sent---
If I die and wither
I shall die content!

bright star...

a friend, Rebekah, recently told me about this movie. Now I'm dying to see it.

It is the true love story of John Keats--cut tragically short by his death at 25. Click here to watch the trailer. So beautiful!

dreams come true...

All my life (ok-at least since I was 12), I've wanted to take French. So I'm finally in college, I go to register for the first quarter of French--and its full! So i registered for Italian. But I just could not get excited about it. I watched an Italian-themed chick-flick, I listened to Josh Groban and Andrea Bocelli, and I looked at pictures of my beloved Florence. But none of it worked.

But... the other night, I was on the registration page for UW and there it was: 1 spot in 1 French class. So I took it!!!

Praise Jesus! Dreams really do come true and I am going to learn French. So someday, when I'm studying in England, I can take a train to Dover, under the Chunnel (or, more epically, take a boat!) to Calais, spend some time by the sea and then on to the place of my dreams: Paris! Aahhh! And I'll be able to order from the cafe's and have fun in the shoppes--all because I am learning some French!!!

YAY!

PS - Kati, I am soooo sorry we won't be able to speak Italian together :(

I'll make it up to you someday!

i've been pondering this lately...

Watch the end scene from Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. It's so beautiful.

"I will not say, 'Do not cry.' For not all tears are an evil."

This scene is so moving. I can touch that pain...

falling in love with regina spektor

loving Regina Spektor right now! 3 music videos you HAVE to check out:

1. "Laughing With" - it's a song all about how "God could be funny." I love it because she messes with the idea that God is up tight! "God can be hilarious!" and its so very true!

2. "Eet" - an amazingly beautiful and creative song and music video! and i LOVE the type-writer.

3. "Fidelity" - a song about singlehood and love. I loooove music videos that involve color and the lack thereof. But most of those music videos are just filmed in black and white. This one is amazing because she is surrounded by black and white which makes the color so much more dramatic! I love the moment at 2:53!

anyway... just something fun lately!

just thinking

I've been thinking a lot lately about comparison--for two very different reasons.

Number 1. I've been reading Emma by Jane Austen. One of Emma's foils is a character by the name of Jane Fairfax. Emma can't describe any offense she has against Jane, she only knows she doesn't like her because she seems perfectly accomplished and is more reserved than herself. This frustrates her terribly throughout the book, so she decides to simply dislike her.

Number 2. I've recently fallen in love with Confessions of a Shopoholic. It was such a funny movie with a really cool message! But in the midst of all the funny quotes, awkward scenes, beautiful clothes, (beautiful guy)--was a very insecure character named Rebecca Bloomwood. At one point of the film, she's describing her arch nemesis and sums her up by saying: "She's the girl with the perfect everything..."

These two things have really stuck with me. Both of these characters are universal in that they express what any girl could express in a way that most girls can't express. Both instances brought back memories of girls who I thought did have the perfect everything. But this drastically limits us. It's not how we're suppossed to live! It's so far below how we were created--to be given a completely unique design and destiny and then to waste our precious time and emotional resources on wishing that we had this girl's life that girl's life. God made us unique--let's live it up!

name change

after thinking about it for quite some time... i've decided to change the name of my blog. so there it is: "a common girl with not so common dreams..."

i'm not entirely sold on it. but today, as i was jotting down partial song lyrics that just came from here and there, this one came to me. the song was a duette--one between the lover and the beloved. the girl was shocked, confused even at why this prince would love her... one so simple. and so they sang:

Prince: Lovely, Darling

Girl: What is it that you see?

Precious? Princess?

Prince: A common girl with not so common dreams...

And it stuck. I really want to finish this song. i have so many hodge podge pieces of lyrics. but i want something whole and satisfying to emerge.

i guess this is a good time to express that God has been doing SO much in my heart towards the arts lately. definitely stirring things up. I just love them! I'm falling in love with Austen all over again as I read Emma. I'm drawn to fashion like never before. Tomorrow I'm going to the Bravern (a new shopping center in Bellevue). It's like a little bit of Manhattan right here on the eastside. I'm also eagerly anticipating a new documentary called the September Issue. It is entirely about the creation of the september issue of Vogue. I'm also falling in love with music more and more! Artists that have recently inspired me: Phil Danyew, Regina Spektor, Myleene Klass, and sooo many others. Needless to say... I love expressions of creativity and individuality!

So i guess... that's just a little update :)

Come Spring...

Come Spring, I will be holding Baby Baker!!! My very own little niece or nephew!

April can't come soon enough!